Happy Birthday To The Blog

Ten days ago, And Anudder Ting! turned one year old.
I'm a very neglectful daddy, and I missed it's Birthday.
Regardless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the..um...blog.

It all began on February 15, 2008. I was completely pissed about "Into The Wild", and needed an outlet to vent about it. You can read it by clicking the link below if you want, but it contains lots of F Bombs because for one, I really didn't like the movie, and for two, like school in the Summertime, I have NO CLASS!

Into The Wild

Anyway, I haven't shut up for a year...but at some point, I'll get quiet, I promise.
Oh, and YES, I know it's a Hello Kitty cake AND has six candles, but guess what?
I'll do whatever the fuck I want!
See...NO CLASS!

Something About Two Steps Forward....

...and 10 steps back. Isn't that how the saying goes?

You know, I don't think I have ever been so eager to credit the source of a picture.
I usually try to remember, sometimes I forget...but this time, I want FULL credit to go to, not only the artist of this cartoon, but the editor of The New York Post who saw fit to print it.

Please enjoy this bit of brilliance from New York Post cartoonist Sean Delonas.


Now the question is, who's ultimately responsible for such a blatantly racist cartoon?
Or more importantly, who's responsible for serving it up to the masses?

Obviously, the blame first falls on the mind of the creator. It's clear, much like it was CLEAR when Seinfeld's Michael Richards went on his racist tirade at the Laugh Factory in 2006, that Sean Delonas has a racist foundation. That's the funny thing about racists...in a lot of cases, they actually believe that they aren't. They'll attempt to justify their actions by claiming it's a social commentary of sorts.

You see, there are certain moments and actions that pull the covers off you, so to speak.
Michael Richards had one of those.
Sure, he tried to apologize over and over again, but the problem was, his apology was so transparently phony, that I think it only served to infuriate people more, and subsequently destroy his place in Hollywood.
Richards claimed that he didn't even know where his words that night, were coming from. That would be ok, if there was some sort of stuttering or verbal mis-steps as he was completely unraveling on stage. BUT, the words simply flowed from Richards mouth like a well seasoned auctioneer trying to move an original, one of a kind, autographed Byron De La Beckwith "I Killed Medgar Evers" T-Shirt.
We knew that not only did Richards know where the words came from, he was very comfortable with the source material.

Sean Delonas is clearly familiar with that source material too...or at least appears to be. But, Delonas can draw whatever he wants. That's the beauty of being an artist. You can create ANYTHING your heart desires, and if your heart desires continuing racial divide in a Country that just experienced a great leap forward in that realm...well, so be it. Make your cartoons, and post them at Arayan websites all over the internet.
You have a *right* to be hate filled if you want to be.

BUT, does a newspaper to the masses like The New York Post, have the right to spread such hate? Or I guess a more accurate question is, is it not completely irresponsible and reprehensible for them to do so?

Yesterday, The New York Post issued an apology for the above abomination.
Here's a segment from The Telegraph's article:

The newspaper acknowledged that the cartoon published on Wednesday had drawn controversy because African Americans and others saw it as a depiction of Obama.

"This most certainly was not its intent; to those who were offended by the image, we apologize," the paper said in an editorial on its website headlined "That Cartoon", which quickly became the site's most-viewed story.

"It was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill. Period," the paper said.

After explaining that the cartoon had been misinterpreted, the editorial concluded: "Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon - even as the opportunists seek to make it something else."

OH, I see now!!! I feel like such a fool.
See, I was sitting here thinking that Obama had, just the day before, signed the very stimulus bill that's being referred to in the cartoon...PLUS being that I've lived in America for 38 years now, I'm very familiar with White America's past depictions of Blacks as monkeys, tar babies..and similarly degrading things...AND I believed logically that Delonas saw an opportunity to use a story about police having to kill a chimpanzee this week as the "covers" that I referred to above because the two stories have no other logical connection...well...I connected the dots, is all.

You are so smart, New York Post!
You completely schooled me!

Here I was thinking that I was looking at something so patently racist that I believed the entire chain of command from the Editor down to the artist should be fired, and was wondering why that hasn't already happened. But you showed me how I was just part of a group of "opportunists" that tried to "make" it something else. You took something that was clearly black, and showed me how it was really white!
By the way, how bad ass of me was it to tie that saying into this article? Black...White...get it?
Oh, I slay me, sometimes!!!

Where was I now?
Oh yeah....FUCK YOU, New York Post!

This was not only an appalling cartoon to publish, but your apology, much like that of Michael Richards', only serves to make me more disgusted with you.
I can only hope that the backlash does irreparable damage to your paper.
You've further insulted the intelligence of the public with this half-assed "apology" while attempting to redefine the word "opportunist" as someone who sees something terrible and responds to it accordingly.
I guess you would have refered to Abel Meeropol as an "opportunist" for writing the poem "Strange Fruit" after he was appalled by seeing Black Men hanging from trees?

But I'm disgusted by you mostly, because you've left me saying something I NEVER thought I would hear myself say....
"YEAH, Al Sharpton...YOU'RE RIGHT!!!"

And for that, New York Post, I hope there is a special place in Hell reserved for your entire staff.

Socks The Cat Has Died

"Socks" the famous cat of former President Bill Clinton and his family, has died.

Two things.

1.) I couldn't care less.

2.) This cat has probably witnessed more blow jobs than the camera crew of "Throat Gaggers 14". I mean, just look at his expression up there. It's a horrified look...the look of someone who has seen things they were never meant to see.
Seriously...go look at him and come back.

See what I mean?
Just staring straight ahead with that "It'll all be ok" look.
He was probably like... "Oh cool...I'm gonna bat this little jingly ball around...oh it's over there now, let me just go get it an....OH WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCKK?!?!?!? How can she DO THAT? I've had to cough up hairballs WAY smaller than that thing!!! OH GOD, THE HUMANITY!!!!"

The End.

Music Review: Audrye Sessions

Guess what? I got a surprise in my mail the other day and you didn't.
Unless you did, and it was cooler than what I got. In which case go away, because right now I want to gloat...and if you can outshine me, then you take the punch out of my story and I don't like you.

What did I get you ask?
Well if the picture and title above didn't tip you off, you're a moron.
BUT, I'll tell you anyway.

I had the pleasure of receiving the debut album from Oakland, California's "Audrye Sessions".

A lot of times when I get these promo discs from publicists, I don't mention it because I either think the band is just AWFUL, or it's a genre that I don't particularly care for. I mean, I figure..."Joe, who are you to judge German Folk Alternative Rap?"
And really, who am I to?
Things is hard in the Bavarian Countryside, yo!

But this time, my Droogies....THIS TIME, we have a twist on things.
And the twist is this...I don't particularly care for this genre of music...BUT this is a rock solid album if there ever was one.

I may have mentioned it before, but if I didn't, I'm a sucker for a catchy chorus.
Well, catchy choruses abound on this outing from Audrye Sessions. From the first track "Turn Me Off" to the closing track "Dust And Bones".

As I'm typing this, I transitioned from "Juliana" into "Relentless" and even though this is my second go round with the album, it already feels like an old "comfort" disc. What you hear sticks with you so much the first time out, that by the second listening, you feel like you KNOW the songs.

I do have one issue with this disc, however.
When I popped it in to iTunes to transfer it to my iTouch, the genre listed was "Pop". Now, either I'm completely out of touch, which is entirely possible because I never claimed to be hip...just cooler than you.
No, really, trust me it's easy to do.
Let's not argue right now, I'm trying to address something.
Anyway, calling this band "Pop" is the upper echelon of bullshit, in my opinion.
I mean, I'm pretty sure back in the 90's this would have surely been described as "Alternative" just based on the guitar riff during the chorus of "The Paper Face" alone, and "Alternative" is always a much cooler description than "Pop".
Wait....did I just become Zack Braff?

Well, that's as good of a queue to end this if there ever was one.
The last thing I want to do is come off like some leftover "Reality Bites" era, assclown slacker.
I mean, you wouldn't mind doing that, but that's what I meant when I said it was easy to be cooler than you.

"Audrye Sessions" disc will be in stores February 17th...do yourself a favor and grab it. Or keep listening to Foghat....what the hell do I care, really?

http://www.myspace.com/audryesessions

Transformers 2 Full Trailer Bootleg

Ok, I wasn't really big on the first Transformers movie...mostly because Transformers were a little after my time of childhood. I was already in Junior High by the time they came along, and if I was still playing with shit like that back then, I would have been likely to catch a beatdown.
Besides, I was much more preoccupied with thoughts of what I wanted to with some of the girls at school, and the more depressing thoughts of how they refused to let me!
You dig?
I didn't care about turning a jet plane into a Decepticon, I was more interested in how I could turn a girl in my math class into a Cantsayno-icon.
Whatever...in retrospect, maybe that "Asia" concert shirt wasn't as badass as I thought.

POINT IS....this second Transformers movie looks hot as shit!

Movie Review: Coraline

Remember the other day, when I mentioned "The Boy In The Striped Pajamas"?
Remember I said that Hollywood sometimes gets it right?

Well, Hollywood not only got it right with Coraline, they hit it out of the park!

Now, I could go in to all the things that make Coraline a great film...the usual stuff like design and story...you know, the things that you're used to hearing about when you see a movie review, but that's not really my focal point here....Oh and for the record, those things were great....really great.

Oh hell, let's do a little of that.....
The film was directed by Henry Selick, the same person who, along with Tim Burton, brought us "The Nightmare Before Christmas", which I thought was a complete piece of shit....OTHER than...the appearance of the movie.
Oh stop it! You KNOW that movie sucked.

This time out, Selick takes the novel by Neil Gaiman, and creates an amazing visual experience that follows through in every other way too.

So for those who don't know, Coraline follows the story of a young girl who recently moves into a very old house with her parents. Feeling neglected by parents who are very enveloped in their professional lives, Coraline begins exploring the old house and finds a tiny little door that seems to lead to nowhere other than the brick wall behind it.....in the day time.
At night, the wall leads to an alternate universe of her life...a life that now has very attentive parents who play with her, cook her amazing meals, and cater to her every need.
But these parents have buttons for eyes.
Creepy, right?

And THAT, it where Coraline really delivers.
And THAT, is what I want to address here.

See, I've ranted on here a million times...or maybe it was just in my head, that America has "pussified" it's youth.
We've been trained that anything that might "scare" our kiddies, is BAD.
We've been trained that if you disagree with the above idea..YOU are BAD!

Well, I've never really fit in with you people...so...once more into the breach, I suppose.

See, every family movie today has to have a buffoonish villain. If the villain itself isn't buffoonish, it CERTAINLY has a sidekick who is, right?
I mean, we MUST make it so the kids know that the bad guy is...well...bad, but he/she can't seem too scary or anything.
And in the end, they have to learn their lesson, and even become friends with the people they were trying to undo.

Now that I've pointed that silly bullshit out to you...See, that's what I do here...I take something that they've made you become accustomed to, and I show you where you're SO used to it now, that you don't even notice it anymore.

No, no, thank me another time, we have work to do here yet.

Where was I?
Oh yeah...
Remember when we were kids?
"The Wizard Of Oz" had that jacked up Witch, right?
Was she buffoonish?
Really?
Tell that to The Scarecrow who she lit the fuck on FIRE!
"How 'bout a little FIRE, Scarecrow?!?"
Yeah, how bout that shit, you weak in the knees prick?
That'll take the spring out of your step.

Or what about "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"?
The villain was called THE FUCKIN' CHILD CATCHER! Ok...not the "fuckin'" part, I added that for dramatic effect....look, I have to do shit like that sometimes...otherwise you won't pay attention.
But regardless, he was creepy as shit, would lore kids with lollipops and then cage them up.
Was The Child Catcher buffoonish?
Not in the least!

Now, I won't lie to you, I had a reoccurring dream as a child that The Child Catcher would peer into my window like he does in the movie, and point at me...as if to let me know that "When you come out here, motherfucker...I got you...I got you."
You know what? Look at me, I turned out just fine!
Well...kinda.
Alright...nevermind all that.

But my WHOLE point is this...Coraline is a return to that style of family film.
There is nothing buffoonish about the villain. In fact, she's absolutely sinister.
Her intentions are awful...what she's done to previous children who have crawled through that hole is terrible, she never learns her lesson, and my kids loved every minute of it.
So did I.

You know what else Coraline did?
It made me realize that Pixar isn't as great as I thought it was.
Now before you start yelling shit at your screen, hear me out.
I've seen every Pixar film that's been released, and while they're brilliant for what they are, they're still that neutered version of "family faire" that we've been trained to accept in today's America.
Coraline made me realize exactly how much better Pixar *could* be.
See, that wasn't as bad as you first thought, was it?

Make sure you catch Coraline while it's still in theaters, because the 3D is rock solid too, as if this movie needed anything more added to it's resume.

The Failed Art Of The Apology

See how smart I am, America?
I told you on January 31, 2009 that you would turn on Michael Phelps, and you did just about a week later.
Ok, maybe I'm not that smart...maybe you're just that predictable now.

So now, he gets to be suspended for 3 months and Kellogg's has dropped him from a deal he had with them in which he would adorn their cereal boxes. But here's what's funny about it all...the suspension will be over before it hurts America's chances at the World Championships this July....I mean, he needs to be taught a lesson, but not at OUR expense, right? Sure, he's a vile dopehead, but we need him to win us some championships!!!
We can lay our "holier than thou" attitudes down for that, surely.
I mean, priorities, people!!

Everywhere I read, I see him saying "I'm so ashamed of myself...I have to live with this for a long time now".
Doesn't that make you feel better?
Everything you wanted to hear, right?
Or will you keep digging your claws in now?

See, it seems in America anymore, an apology is nothing more than a sign of weakness.
Think about it...who have you ever seen apologize, and things just went away?
It doesn't happen like that. America LOVES to build someone up so they can tear them down. They LOVE that.

In June 2006, the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations began pursuing a discrimination case against "Geno's Steaks" owner Joey Vento. Vento put up a sign at his store that read something to the effect of "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who doesn't speak English when ordering."
People were appalled...they wanted Vento fined, tarred and feathered, and whatever else they could conjure up in their heads for such a "grotesque" offense.
More likely, they just pretended to be upset, because it's what they've been trained to do...but that's a whole other discussion, isn't it?

So everyone waited for Joey Vento to apologize...surely now that the National spotlight was on him, he would not act so "South Philly" and cave to the pressure, right?
Wrong.

Vento did the EXACT opposite of what America was waiting for him to do.
He refused to apologize, he reminded everyone that he owned the property that Geno's is located on, that he had more money than he could ever spend in his CHILDREN'S lifetime, and that if ANY action was levied against him, he would board up Geno's and let it sit there like that for the rest of time as a black eye on Philadelphia's face.

Amazingly....the case just faded away without so much as another peep.
Subsequently, Vento has stated that his business only INCREASED as a result of the position he took during the scandal. Furthermore, the media was no longer interested because Vento wasn't going to cry and grovel everytime a camera was put in front of him.

But that wasn't how it went for Don Imus, was it?
He apologized to EVERYONE who would listen, but he was still fired, drug through the mud, and never really regained the position that he previously held.

So you see kids, apologizing doesn't always make it better. In fact, it more often makes it worse.

In a perfect world, Michael Phelps would tell America that he owns his swimming abilities, and that if any action is taken against him, he'll close up shop here and go swim for Japan, the land that LOVES American celebrity endorsements.

Then, he would go to Geno's in Philly, and have one "wit and wiz" with a Birch Beer.
And I'd meet him there because writing that shit just made me hungry!

Twilight Sucks Again

I have been telling people for a while now that I don't understand the appeal of the "Twilight" series of books from Stephenie Meyer. Now as I've said in one of those 25 things or one of the other goofy ass notes that get passed around on Facebook, I don't read books, but I listen to audiobooks, and when all the hype was building with statements like "this series is the new Harry Potter", I started to listen to Twilight. Just hearing how it was being read made me realize that it HAD to be awfully written.
Well now, Stephen King was asked about what he thought of the two series....and he agrees with me.

"According to Stephen King, "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

Ok, maybe he didn't technically agree with ME....maybe he just has a similar opinion to mine, but I have an ego problem, so let's fix his statement the way I see it....

"According to Stephen King, "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer, as Joe, the master of all that is awesome and brilliant, said, can't write worth a darn. She's not very good. I wish I could hang out with Joe and invite him to Hollywood parties but he won't return my calls, because he's busy being awesome all the time."

See how much more poignant his statement becomes when you read it through my eyes?

Oh, and if you think me LISTENING to Twilight is creepy...you should have seen me in the theater!
"Hey girls, do you go to High School?....is this seat taken?"
Um, ignore that last part.

Please, People....

Why do we still do this?
Is there any good reason to continue with this silly ass tradition?

The only good thing that ever came out of this "holiday" was the movie "Groundhog Day", because I STILL stop on that if I'm channel surfing, and end up watching it until the end.
Oh...and Gobbler's Knob.
That name is fucking hilarious for an obvious reason if your mind is in the gutter.

By the way, "Phil" says six more weeks of winter if you actually think an overgrown rat can predict the length of the seasons by supposedly seeing a shadow which I'm sure he has no fucking ability to comprehend in the first place.
And if you DO believe in that, I'm in possession of a weasel who predicts Powerball numbers with a 90% accuracy rate.

For a mere $1,000, I let him pick six for you.