Pat Robertson Is A Douche Part 3,129

Really, Dude?
It's 2010.

Ok, I know my religious friends are gonna want to kill me for this, but am I the only one who feels that "swearing pacts with the devil" is the equivalent to "casting a shield enchantment"?
This is like some shit you hear in a movie or something, when a guy is telling a story about a town and starts off with "Legend has it, that the town is cursed".

You know what else I love about shit like this?
When bad shit happens to a "people" that guy's like this, don't like....God is exacting vengeance on them.
BUT, when bad shit happens to people who are essentially good and kind people....."it's part of God's plan."
SO, either way....all bases are covered.

Oh, and Pat, just because when YOU vacation in the Dominican Republic, it's all very pleasant for you because you can eat as much as you want, and drinks flow like water, it's not exactly the same for the Dominican people who work there. Maybe you didn't notice the buses that bring them in to the resort, that are completely overfilled...which came in from the roads that have soldiers on every corner with M-16s? Or maybe you didn't notice that the same people whom you see working at 6am at the Breakfast pavilion, are the same people you see closing up the restaurants at 11pm?
Yeah, it's REAL great to live in the Dominican Republic, Pat....tell that to Francisco who almost fucking cried when I gave him a $5 tip while I was in Punta Cana, you myopic sack of dick.

NOT TO MENTION....Pat prefaces the fairy tale story with telling us that Haiti was "under the heal of the French....of Napoleon". In case you weren't aware....Napoleon was not a very nice guy....in fact, he's often refered to as one of three AntiChrist type figures in history.
SO...follow along now.....The French were so fucked up to the Haitians....THAT THEY MADE A PACT WITH FUCKING SATAN TO HELP THEM!!!!

Where was God during all this suffering?
I mean, I'm assuming they asked him first, right? Probably....A....LOT.
Oh, that's right...it was part of his "plan". His plan was apparently to ignore their suffering until they became so desperate, that they would form a pact with Satan......and then he could decimate them with an earthquake in 2010.

Sounds awesome to me.
Where do I sign up?