LISTEN AT THE BIBLE!!!!!

Ron's entry that featured Benny Hinn reminded me of an entry I've been meaning to make for quite some time now.
I'm not a religious person, so to speak....AND, I find that most people who *claim* to be religious have no idea what adhering to the word of God really means. Mostly I think that those in America interpret the bible to work *for* them and their lifestyle, rather than curb their lifestyle to work for the bible/word of God.
BUT, that's a sticky conversation, and as I said, I'm not really religious, so we'll just leave it at that for now.

However, there is one preacher that I watch fairly often, and that's Pastor Gino Jennings from Philadelphia.
Now, I don't really watch him to get my religion fix, but more because I enjoy the way that he forces people to look at how they DON'T really follow the word of God the way they are supposed to while calling themselves faithful believers.

The synchronicity in which he operates with the scripture reader Steve is flawless, and his methods are second to none. (in my opinion, that is)
In the two following clips, he addresses...well...basically Catholicism I suppose, and where it and it's followers often deviate directly from what the bible tells them.

What did Yoda say..."Do or do not, there is no try."
Or Myagi for that matter .."You karate do yes....safe. You karate do no...safe. You karate do guess so....SQUISH...just like grape!"

I don't really know what the fuck that had to do with anything, but I always enjoy tying I movie reference to shit, and besides, it kinda works if you think about it.

Anyway, I give you the HONORABLE Pastor Gino Jennings:

Is This The Greatest Video Ever?

There have been many music videos that I thought were great, but this one is just fucking genius!!! I know it has been around for a while, but it is an all-time classic!

Benny Hinn might be one of the biggest scumbags of all time, preying on stupid people all over the world, but...... the motherfucker and his flock of fools make me laugh! "My Man Benny!" I can't help it, I love watching morons act like morons.

I guess that's why I watch Fox News so much.

This Makes Me All Sad And Nostalgic

Goddamn that was a great time to be young.
YES, I know this is all computer generated, you ass....but it's pretty accurate.

I remember standing around crowds of people watching someone play Dragon's Lair. They actually would have to place a monitor on top of the arcade cabinet because otherwise you couldn't get close enough to the machine to see anything.
Anyone remember Showbiz Pizza? That's one of the places around here that had Dragon's Lair.
They had a couple other hot games too, but the problem was it was like a Chuckie Cheese, so you had a bunch of little kids running around fuckin' up your gametastic style.
And then there was this jacked up robot band called The Rockafire Explosion that would play the current hits of the time, only minus whatever cool factor the original version of the song had.
You haven't lived until you've seen a hillbilly bear singing "Der Kommisar"!
See what I mean? It's hard to get your game on with that kind of loopy shit going on as a backdrop.
You were applauding for ROBOTS, people!!!!
WHAT THE FU.....hey....speaking of shit like that....why do people applaud at the end of a movie?
Haven't you seen that before? The movie ends...the credits start to roll...and the theater starts erupting in applause.
WHY?
I could see if the cast were in the theater with you...or even let's say a member of the production team, and you want to just say to them "Hey, that was some damn fine editing, my friend...DAMN FINE!".
But why are you applauding at the SCREEN?

Wait...what the hell was this post about anyway?

F Joe Lieberman!

Joe Lieberman made his choice to pimp for John McCain all over the country and betray the Democratic Party. Now Lieberman wants to kiss and make up. F that! Lieberman should be stripped of his Senate Committee Chair of Home Land Security and banished to a low profile subcommittee. Senate majority leader Harry Reid needs to grow a set and kick Lieberman out of the Democratic Party Caucus. Last I checked Lieberman is an independent. He calls himself an Independent-Democrat. No Joe, you are a sell-out! Lieberman addressed the Republican National Convention, so let the GOP have Lieberman. I still blame the nasally douche for being too much of a pussy as Al Gore's running mate. Lieberman is a traitor and has to go!

Now Will You Stop Complaining?

All I ever hear is "Joe, why don't you ever give us some pictures of hot chicks?", or "Joe, I like to jack it during my lunch break...Obama isn't hot enough though, bro."
Well, THERE!
How hot is Amy these days?
Tell me you wouldn't LOVE to put it down on that!!!

I mean, what a total package that is....the hair, the running mascara, the lumberjack coat.
Who says drugs are bad for you?
World Of Warcraft playing DORKS, that's who!!!
People who just don't get what it means to party hardstyle.

So WHAT...EVER to all you 9 to 5, slave to the grind chumps.... Me and Amy Winehouse are gonna set this bitch OFF, yo!

I'd Say Brand Is Bouncing Back Fairly Well...

"Russell Brand left Britain in disgrace, but less than a week after resigning from his BBC Radio 2 show his career appears to have recovered.

Brand is reportedly thrashing out a deal to appear in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film - as Captain Jack Sparrow's younger brother Jonathan. The deal to appear in the children's film could be worth as much as £5million and would catapault the 33-year-old into the Hollywood A-list.

A source told The Sun: 'There couldn't be a role more perfectly suited. There's a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp's accent isn't a million miles away from Russell's either."


So there you have it. I think it's safe to say that resigning from the show may not have ONLY been about what it seemed at face value. Maybe someone knew it was time to clear up the schedule a bit, huh?

At the same time, I can't wait to see a "Pirates" film with Brand opposite Depp.
On paper, it should be the most entertaining yet.

Ralph Nader Is A Doucherocket

Last night while watching the outcome of the Election, I fell asleep.
Screw you, I was tired...I've been KILLING myself recently...with not only my job, but my new career in cake design.

ANYWAY, I woke up around 12:45 am or so and my local Fox affiliate was running a live interview of Ralph Nader conducted by Shepard Smith which I caught already in progress. Smith asked Nader something to the effect of "what obstacles does Obama face now?".
Nader came back with "We have to see if he can deliver on the promises he's made, or if he's going to be an Uncle Tom."

AWESOME, right?

SO, a shocked and horrified looking Smith says "You said Uncle Tom on the evening that America has just elected it's first Black President?"
Nader, realizing what he had just done, immediately begins trying to accuse Smith of "bullying him" and telling him that they can just cut to black now, because he wasn't going to take this from him.

Smith went on to try to explain that he wasn't trying to bully him, but more that he just couldn't believe that Nader would use such and ugly terminology ESPECIALLY on this particular night.
He then offered Nader an out by saying "In retrospect, do you wish you maybe had used a different description or set of words?"
Nader looks directly into the camera and says as deliberately as one can "NO...I...DO...NOT!"

I tried to find video of it for you, but my Web-Fu seems to have failed me.

UPDATE: Found the video...my memory was a bit off, but it's basically close to what I said.

Barack Obama Is The New Messiah Of The World!!

Can a brother JUST be the President?

If you've been following this blog, you'll know that I've been an Obama supporter from the outset. So as you can imagine, I'm elated at last night's outcome.
But there is an undertone going on here that I can't help but be troubled by.

In the midst of everyone being so amazed that America has elected it's first Black President, I think they are forgetting that he was only elected PRESIDENT, not "The Rectifier Of All Of Societal Ills"...not "The Messiah: Christ v2.0".
I understand that everyone is all excited now, and I understand what an amazing step forward it is for America to have finally overcome the racial barrier that has until now prevented ANYONE of dark complexion to hold the highest office.
BUT, I think *some* grounding in reality needs to occur here.

If the mentality that exists here now continues, Barack Obama can ONLY fail. People are setting the bar so high that no one could hope to reach expectation.

We're a funny lot, White America.
We went from hundreds of years of thinking that a black man couldn't succeed in such a position of great importance, to thinking instantly that a black man will be able to accomplish more than any white man in the same position ever could.
How about just letting him be President the same way that everyone before him did?
How about THAT kind of equality?

But maybe that's what the black leaders who have made the comments to the effect that "this is only a step forward, and NOT the end of the long road" mean?
Maybe we haven't REALLY reached the end of the road, until a black man can just be elected President without all the fanfare and high expectations of being New Coke...err...I mean Christ?

On the flipside....how many of you have heard all the racist comments from white friends today? Oh stop it...be honest!!!
I've heard a TON of cool shit so far. I imagine it must be what Hanukkah is like for Jewish people...it seemed that every time I turned around, I got another "present".
It's really weird, you know?
On one hand, this Country DID just elect it's first Black President...and 61% of those who voted for him were White.
On the other hand, I still hear racist bullshit every day.
Where do we really stand, Whitey?

Oh, and how cool is the "What?....is the White House gonna start serving fried chicken and Kool-Aid at dinners now?" line?
Yes, Zeke, it is.
And I hope it's extra crispy recipe and cherry flavored, because all other Kool-Aid flavors are bullshit. Except Berry Blue...that shit was fuckin' dope, yo! I used to drink that as a hangover cure during my Jagermeister phase. I wonder if it really worked, or I just convinced myself it did?
I was kind of a tool back then, so it could be the latter.
What?
Yeah, I know I'm still a tool by societal definition, but I've more or less excepted it.
YOU on the other hand are running around singing "Miley Cyrus" songs thinking it shows how you're still in touch with the youth.

Jesus Obama doesn't sing Miley Cyrus, and neither do I.

Charm City Is My Bitch!

That's right....I totally OWN Duff Goldman!!

I know what you're thinking..."Joe, how do you deliver such mastery with your very first cake? Your rendition of Perry The Platypus is second to none."

What can I say really? It's just something that comes very natural to me.

Um...ok...enough bullshit.
My daughter loves Disney's "Phineas & Ferb"...more specifically, the character from the show "Perry The Platypus". So being that her birthday was today, I asked her last week what kind of cake she wanted. She responded as you can already imagine.

Now, I watch WAY too much Food Network, and as a result, I end up thinking that I understand how to do things that I CLEARLY am out of my league about....AND the ONLY reason that I didn't actually try to use fondant here was because the woman at the cake supply shop told me that it was a lot of extra work and money that was generally lost on children.
SO, I decided to just go with basic stuff.

I explained to my daughter before presenting the cake that Perry had been in an accident and had suffered head trauma, AND that even though he may look and act a little differently than she remembered, he was still the same Perry, with the same feelings as you and me.
She responded with "So...you REALLY messed this up, huh?"

In closing, rest easy Duff.....for now.

Russell Brand Resigns From BBC Radio

Well that sucks. I really enjoyed his show because I think he's hilarious, and because it was refreshing to hear a show with guests that aren't the same old, same old that we get here in America.
In the U.K. maybe they were, but here, they were like hearing brand new celebrities.

Oh well, change and all.