I had a VERY relaxing and pleasant weekend in the Bethany Beach/Rehoboth Beach, Delaware area this weekend. But, being the asshole that I am, I took some time to notice a few things that I think I should point out to you, because I'm a pal and all.
1.) As I told you in my previous update, people are morons. They get SO overly excited with themselves the moment that the weather hits 70 degrees. There were a gaggle (see, I used the word gaggle, because they all reminded me of silly geese, and GAGGLE, is the word for a large amount of geese. You wouldn't understand a word like that because it's outside of your lexicon. So is "lexicon" for that matter, so we should probably just quit while I'm ahead.).....where was I....oh yeah, there were a gaggle of people walking around in swimsuits and laying on the beach, because it was 70 degrees.
Hey, doucherockets, LAST weekend they held the "Polar Bear Plunge" on the very same beach that you are currently pretending you are sunning on the French Riviera on.
Let that marinate for a bit.
2.) If you wake up and begin drinking Margaritas at 10:30am, you, while becoming awesome, also run out of gas around 6pm.
Oh whatever, I'm almost 40, you assclown....I'm not out power drinking and trying to prove something to you and your frat brothers.
P.S. Dave Matthews is a cockrag....put that in your "Rusty Rudder Beer Bong" and chug it down.
Wait....is he even cool anymore?
Fuck, I suck at this.
3.) When they tear down a building on Rehoboth Avenue, you can see the remains of the original buildings that have been embedded within the walls of newer buildings for probably close to a hundred years....
See?
To tie this visual into something Rehoboth Beach, DE related....it looks like the house after Dorothy lands in Oz, but the film hasn't fully transitioned to Technicolor yet.
Judy Garland.
Over the Rainbow.
Rehoboth.
Get it?
For the record, the above picture was once an alleyway where Phineas Cobblebottom performed the first act of sodomy on Wallace Giles Featherloafer in Rehoboth Beach in 1892.
Right afterward they opened a restaurant and began making ridiculously delicious culinary fare, and thus set the course for the vacation destination that has led up until current day.
Ok, maybe none of that is true, but it sounds good, and no one can argue that the restaurants in Rehoboth are awesome, so take your homophobia and do what Phineas did to Wallace with it.
Oh.....OH....and while I was in one of my Margarita induced stupors, I saw a preview for a new Kirstie Alley vehicle coming to A&E....I don't remember what it was called, so let's just call it "Fat Again".
*PAUSE*
Ok, holy shit....after I typed what I just typed, I decided to go to YouTube to see if I could find the trailer, and there was a Flash based Kirstie throwing her fat around to knock pretend videos out of the way.
Can we PLEASE stop with the "Fat Kirstie" stuff?
I mean, this has BECOME her career....and that shouldn't be acceptable to anyone.
How many times now have we seen Kirstie become "fat and sassy", then lose weight....then become fat again??
And can you PLEASE not mention wanting a "booty call" when you look like John Candy in drag?
Oh and anudder ting, and it's 2010...motherfuckers have been born, and graduated High School since "In Living Color" was hip, so can you stop saying "Booty Call"?
Should people who don't like it "Step Off" too?
Anyway...here's some sort of preview to the trainwreck.
Look, I'm sure Kirstie is a nice person....but ENOUGH already.
Eh....whatever with all that.
Let's end with something funny.
Deal?
1 comment:
I guess "homie dont play that" is out now too. I love Between Two Ferns. Very funny.
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