Movin' On Up!

This blog will not be updated anymore, because I have moved on to bigger and better things!
Ok, not really....I just moved to our official site now.

Join us at Anuddercast.com for all updated blog posts, and for podcast episodes.
Click the "Listen" tab over there for podcasts, and the "Read" tab for the blog.
Pretty self explanatory, no?

Thoughts On Harold Camping And The Rapture Bunch From An Athiest

Yeah, yeah....The Rapture didn't happen, and we're all having a laugh.
BUT, there's something more interesting about all this to me...you know, the athiest.

I have watched people who are self proclaimed Christians laughing about Harold Camping's claims for quite some time now....laughing about his "predictions".
What strikes me odd about this, and the first thing that pops into my mind is that the same people who are snickering about him and his people, are then turning around and telling me that they BELIEVE stories of a man and an ark...a man walking on water...plagues as punishment...talking bushes...parting seas...resurrections...etc.

To me, this is the same as a Lady Gaga fan laughing at a Madonna fan.
The only difference is that one of them is offering more up to date bullshit.

From an athiest's point of view, you all sound as crazy as Harold Camping to me every time I hear you talk about Noah, Job, Abraham, or Moses.
You're laughing at HIM for thinking that what you ALL believe is eventually GOING to happen, was going to happen on May 21st!
He just dared to put a date on it, and HE'S an asshole?
Am I the only one who finds this the goof of all time?

This post was brought to you by Jack Daniels, and the memory of Randy Savage.

Movie Review: Thor

This Summer, we kick off our movie season with the big screen adaptation of Marvel Comics' "Thor" starring Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins, and Natalie Portman.

That seems like a decent way to begin, right?

And it was.
A decent way to start. 

By now, you more or less know who Thor is, but if you don't, here's the short version....he's the god of thunder and he wields a hammer that can do some serious damage. Earthquake level damage, not like the kind that just has you needing to call a drywall contractor.

In the film, Thor's daddy casts him out of the Kingdom of Asgard because he's too high strung, and causes way too much trouble for the people of Asgard. SO, naturally he sends him to the shit hole that is Earth.

We are then treated to the usual "fish out of water" material that this type of storyline dictates...not understanding that he can't act the way he does in his world, not understanding why we act the way we do in ours, etc. etc.

I was never a big fan of Thor as a superhero, for some reason, he just never appealed to me. So, naturally when I heard they were making a big screen version, I wasn't exactly thrilled.

That said, I walked away completely satisfied with the way Kenneth Branagh translated the character to our world. A character that seemed to me unworkable in a real world environment, worked perfectly well, and more importantly, this Marvel world that is being built for us leading up to "The Avengers" film has maintained it's integrity. 

My one gripe with Thor is that I felt it spent too much time on the love story between Hemsworth and Portman, and didn't give us as much action as I would have wanted. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't lopsided....in fact it was probably perfectly balanced for the men who want to see a hammer smashing the shit out of things, AND their dates who want to see Thor being gentle with the woman he has his eye on.

I always have a problem with the superhero/mortal love stories, by the way. I know it sounds cliche' at this point, but wouldn't these guys kill the woman during sex?

Seriously?

Thor as a whole, works well overall. I wasn't blown away by it, but I wasn't unhappy with it either.

You KNOW you're going to see it anyway, so really none of this matters...it's the Summer F'N Movie Season, after all...why would you not?

Oh, and before I leave, let me give you this one piece of advice...DON'T pay extra for the 3D version...there was really no benefit that I could see to warrant the extra cash.

By the way, while I was writing this, I had "Hot Dog: The Movie" playing in the background.
Why do I do that shit to myself?

Gays, And Atheists, And Sky Monsters....OH MY!

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AnudderCast - Episode 4T: "God Hates AnudderCast?"

Shirley Phelps Roper is one of the most controversial figures in America today.

As one of the prominent members of The Westboro Baptist Church, the daughter of Pastor Fred Phelps has enraged Americans across this Country with protests at the funerals of fallen military heroes, celebrities, and anyone else that is deemed immoral by Westboro Baptist's strict adherence to Biblical scripture.

In almost every interview that she has done, hostilities eventually rise to the surface and things deteriorate rapidly. 

One of the things I have found interesting over the last couple decades since "Political Correctness" began it's stranglehold on America, is how those who abhor the intolerant, MEET THEM with intolerance.

To me, that's like trying to extinguish a fire with a flame thrower.

So our approach was a little different, and I think a lot more of the American ideal of yesteryear.

We wanted to give the history of Westboro Baptist, shed some light on where the family really comes from, and discuss the catalyst to the entire "God Hates Fags" agenda.

In the end, we didn't change Shirley's mind about anything, and I know we won't change America's, nor should we. 

But we did achieve what we set out to do.

We had a civil discussion with someone who has extremely different life views than ours, we got a little bit better of an understanding of where Shirley comes from, and most importantly, we maintained civility while still making our positions clear.

Something I think a few other real journalists should think about.

If I want to see screaming matches....I'll watch Jerry Springer.

So check out the episode....

AnudderCast Episode 4T: "God Hates AnudderCast"

Sarah Manson Orders Hits!

Well, not really.....but she is an incredibly irresponsible person.

As I'm sure you know by now, Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot while meeting with constituents in Tucson, AZ. The shooting spree left six dead and fourteen injured.

This Doucherocket was responsible....

That's right, Jackie Coogan, aka "Uncle Fester" from television's "The Addams Family".

Ok, fine.

It's not Jackie Coogan....but I'm not gonna type his real name because it's what he would want, so Uncle Fester it is.

Now because of Uncle Fester, we will go through all the standard questions that are asked when one of these tools shoots a place up. You know, the "Why were the warning signs ignored?", and the "What could have been done to prevent this?" nonsense.

Here's your answer.....they were ignored because not every dickbag who talks crazy shit, ends up shooting everyone.

It's just that simple. You can't eradicate every person who acts like a nutcase. 

In my perfect utopia you could, but sadly that isn't the reality of our existence.

There is another part to the equation in these type of events that I find particularly interesting though, and that's....The Blame Game.

Now in the past, let's say....going back to Columbine, we blamed heavy metal and video games.

In case you didn't know, the Columbine shooters, (shhh....don't say their names either) shot their fellow classmates because of Marilyn Manson and Doom.

No, it's true.

Everyone knows it.

The formula was this simple.

"Shock Rock" + First Person Shooter = Everyone at school must die.

Even *I* can understand that, and I was a terrible student.

I'm pretty sure Manson even included a map of the school inside every copy of "AntiChrist Superstar", with cross-hairs on it pinpointing every individual that he deemed to be problematic.

The map included the text "I've diagnosed the problem......help me find the solution."

So as you can see, anyone who was so deeply entrenched in the world of Manson, AND who had social awkwardness or even so far as a complete mental disorder, would HAVE to act at his behest!!!

I mean, that's how America saw it at the time. 

Manson's concerts were cancelled everywhere. Protests plagued his appearances. 

He was shunned, because this was clearly his fault!

Oh, and don't think Doom got off easy either!

A huge push for new laws regarding sales restrictions of violent video games swept through this nation!

Children should NOT be playing these types of games, because it makes them do things!!!

Especially the weak minded or mentally ill children!! You know the ones that have a hard time fitting in?

Those.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!?!?!?

Huh?

What do you mean there was no map of Columbine in "AntiChrist Superstar"?

There HAD to be! How else would those two dickfucks have known who to shoot?

EVERYONE said it was Manson's fault! He MUST have been more specific in his message, I'm sure of it!

Ok, enough with my facetiousness.

Here's the point I want to make....

In 1999, I watched people work themselves into a froth over Marilyn Manson and videogames; swearing that those two things were the direct catalyst to the shootings at Columbine High School.

There was no map in the jacket of "AntiChrist Superstar"

There was no Columbine level on Doom.

Today, I watch people in a frenzy to explain how Sarah Palin isn't responsible for the shootings that Uncle Fester pulled off.

Sarah Palin gave us this map....

Down there in Arizona....Gabrielle Giffords has cross-hairs on her.

Now, under the same logic of "anyone completely entrenched in the world of__________", 

"What is politics, Alex?"

Ok, that was a played out joke, but we can easily suggest that if one were obsessed with politics and "weak minded" or "mentally ill", they could EASILY see this map as specific instructions, no?

FAR more so, than the lyrics to "The Beautiful People", right?

But what are people doing at this hour?

Trying to explain how the actions of "one deranged young man are not the fault of Sarah Palin!"

Funny, isn't it?

See, I have watched Palin speak. I have listened to her talk about those who are destroying the American way of life, in her estimation. I have watched her align herself with The Tea Party which is symbolic of the event that sparked The American Revolution. I have watched her shooting off guns. And I have seen her map.

I say without jest, that if the theory of the "weak minded and mentally ill" is accurate, she through her words and actions, laid out a far more precise blueprint than Marilyn Manson and Doom ever dreamed to.

But she's a "hockey mom" with "Mainstreet's best interests at heart!", so she can't be a bad person, right?

Today Palin released a video claiming that people linking her to this tragic event is "blood libel".

For those unaware, blood libel is a term that's used in regards to religious minorities, primarily Jews, and it refers to them being libeled by suggesting that they make sacrifices and drink blood during religious rituals.

It was designed to more or less demonize them.

"He is an anti-American operative with blood on his hands. Why was he not pursued with the same urgency we pursue al Qaeda and Taliban leaders?"

~Sarah Palin on Julian Assange. 

As far as I know, it can not be suggested that a single death can be connected to what Julian Assange put on his website.

However, it can be suggested that 6 deaths and 14 injures can be connected to what Sarah put on hers.

Under her own usage of the term blood libel....isn't she guilty?

Now, I'm not saying that she's responsible...I'm just giving an example of what a "maverick" Sarah has been when choosing her words in the past, as opposed to this video she has released today, in which she says it's unfair to tie her to this event because of what was on her website.

Sarah never seemed that interested in "fairness" before.

But this isn't as much of an indictment of Sarah Palin, as it is one of the hypocrisy of America.

When you look at what's presented, it would make far more sense to assume that Uncle Fester did what he did, because in his compromised mental state, he became entrenched in political rhetoric that made him feel that he NEEDED to do something to stop the destruction of his Country.

It does not make sense that 13 children died at Columbine because two assholes listened to "Little Horn" while playing a pixely first person shooter.

Today, the media is willing to say, essentially, that some people are just fucked up.

That's today.

Because the person having fingers pointed at her, looks, sounds, and dresses just like them.

She talks the way they talk. She fears the God they fear. And she goes to the churches they go to.

Although the man made trail to her culpability in this tragedy is far more sound than the one they created to Manson with Columbine, they NOW understand that things sometimes happen, and that there is no one, or no thing, to blame other than the person pulling the trigger.

Now.....they get it.

Interesting.

Welcome To 2010 America, In The Year 1984?

Am I alone in realizing that America is...well...over?
Take a good look around you. I know, I know, it will stop you from fist pumping like The Jersey Shore guys, and it will definitely distract you from figuring out whether it's really Miley Cyrus in those naked bathroom shots.
Oh, and it will probably interrupt your slacktivism when you're posting Sherman and Mr. Peabody as your profile picture on Facebook, to "stop child abuse". But when you stop....when you actually take a look around, you'll see that there's something very wrong going on here.

You know what? I'm glad I thought of that silly Facebook Slacktivist thing in my opener, because isn't that what all this complacency is about? Americans want to feel like they're doing something....without actually DOING SOMETHING!
I mean, that's what that whole thing about posting your favorite cartoon character to stop child abuse was, right?
It was much ado about nothing. It accomplished absolutely NOTHING in the way of stopping or protesting child abuse, because who was it for? Who was watching and counting? It was ridiculousness at it's very foundation.
Yet still, everyone jumped on the bandwagon.
And why?
Because they were told it was the right thing to do.

TSA screenings are also the right thing to do. At least in the name of "Security Theater". That's the term given to all of these new screenings and procedures, as coined by Bruce Schneier in his book Beyond Fear.
It's meaning is simple.....
NONE of what you're seeing is actually making us safer.
It's all "theater". It's all an illusion that we are being treated to, because all of these measures were put in place after a near catastrophe. These catastrophes were averted only because of terrorist failure, or passengers on planes attacking the perpetrator, but none ever stopped an attempt in it's tracks.

The terrorists, you see, are always a step ahead.
They were ahead on 9/11.
They were ahead with Richard Reed.
They were ahead with Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab.

So this is a sort of closing of the barn door after the cow got out.
The "bad guys" are already planning around the security measures that do nothing but annoying the piss out of you, while violating your civil rights.

The only people affected by all of this....the only ones being interrogated, are the American air travelers who are simply trying to get to the new Wizarding World Of Harry Potter attractions at Universal Studios, FL. And you're picking THEM out as the problems, because as every stand up comic will tell you, in their hackiest of material, they only search the little old grandmothers and white people at the checkpoints, not the people who fit the "profile".

Profile!
Profile!
Profile!

Sorry, I just did that to make the easily offended go away. They HATE profiling, because... "it's like wrong to target people just because they have all the attributes of people who want to attack us, and well, who already DID attack us....and also keep telling us they are GOING to attack us again. I mean, that's just wrong! I mean, think how bad it makes them feel"

Probably not half as bad as I feel knowing that everyone is gonna get to see my hog, the next time I want to go on Splash Mountain.


Sorry, Muslim people. Sorry you have to own something because some of you are fucked up....but that's just the way it goes.
As a white man, I have to own the whole slavery thing from over a century ago, even though I come from a long line of derelicts who probably wanted to own slaves, but kept blowing all their cash on booze and whores.
I'm Irish...you know how it is.

But regardless of that very real reality....most black people who see me, probably assume that my ancestors owned slaves. Just like people today will now look at you, and assume you are part of a sleeper cell.
No one said life was fair.

But no one cares about all this. Family Guy reruns are on.
Let's see if you can pull away from that for a second.

Julian Assange of Wikileaks attempted to show everyone what was really going on behind the scenes. He showed us that all those politicians who claim to have "Main Street's best interest at heart", really have anything but. It showed us that the "they're all corrupt" whispers that we've heard all of our lives, are wholeheartedly true.
He showed us that we are aware of who attacked us on 9/11, and that those same people continue to fund the insurgency in Iraq, and these very same people, Saudi Arabia in case you didn't know, have ASKED us to invade Iran!
But Fox News told us Assange is a terrorist.
That he is putting the men and women of our military "in harm's way".
So, it MUST be true!

5,817

That number up there, is the number of American military lives lost in the Afghan and Iraqi theaters as of the time that I submitted this blog entry.
While, according to the Wikileaks cables, the American government knows that Saudi Arabian donators were behind the attacks that kicked this whole party off, 5,817 men and women have died elsewhere.
Why?
I don't know.....do you?
I just know there's no plan to bring them home, and they're still over there dying...as recently as December 5th.

So I ask you.....who put our men and women in harms way more?

1.) A Government that sent them into two wars with people that had no hand in the 9/11 terror attacks? A Government by the way, that was co-piloted by Dick Cheney, a man who's currently at the center of a $180 million dollar bribery scandal, circling around Halliburton, a company that has made billions off of said wars.

or

2.) A man who released "in house" documents that showed everyone the reality of those wars.


The basis of our government being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate for a moment to prefer the latter.
~Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson, in case you didn't know, was one of the Founding Fathers.
He was one of the framers of The Constitution that this Country was built upon.

5,817.

Since Wikileaks released their cables, 12 soldiers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I haven't seen any evidence that Julian Assange was responsible for that....but he's still a wanted man for it.
 
Members of Dynacorp International, a U.S. Security contractor who are training Afghan police, and that draws almost all of it's 2 billion dollar annual contract from taxpayer money, aren't wanted though. Which is strange, considering that according to Wikileaks cables, they are known to be hosting Bacha Bazi parties in Afghanistan.
What's Bacha Bazi, you ask?
It's parties where young boys are bid on by wealthy businessmen for anal sex.
That doesn't seem right, does it?

I know, maybe telling what they did, is actually worse than what they've done!
That must be it, right?
Let's check on that......

Sec. 1.7. Classification Prohibitions and Limitations.
In no case shall information be classified, continue to be maintained as classified, or fail to be declassified in order to:
conceal violations of law, inefficiency, or administrative error;
prevent embarrassment to a person, organization, or agency; restrain competition; or
prevent or delay the release of information that does not require protection in the interest of the national security.

That's from Executive Order 13932, put in place by George W. Bush, on March 25, 2003.

Julian Assange is wanted for releasing information that show violations of law, inefficiency, and administrative error. Information that was embarrassing to people....especially Hillary Clinton....organizations and agencies.

But nevermind all that....Kim Kardashian and Gabriel Aubrey have called it quits!!!! OMG!!!!
No, like I'm TOTALLY serious! It's on the frontpage of Yahoo! right now!
(How else did you think I knew who Gabriel Aubrey was?....Kardashian you can't escape, if you live in America)

Do you think if we all change our Facebook profiles to pics of our favorite things to eat as a kid, Kim and Gabriel will get back together?
I hope so.

In the coming weeks, monitors will be placed in Walmarts, Hotels, and Shopping Malls, that feature messages from Homeland Security. These messages will remind you that "If you see something, say something", and then ask you to report others that you find suspicious to law enforcement.

The question is, what does Homeland Security now deem "suspicious"

Homeland Security recently seized over 70 web domains, without due process, and then recently placed actor Mark Ruffalo on a terror advisory list, for his participation in a documentary about natural gas drilling entitled "Gasland". In fairness, I could completely understand doing this to him for his participation in "Rumor Has It" with Jennifer Aniston, but not for a documentary.

In the 50's, Senator Joe McCarthy went after everyone that he believed to be "Communists". That was the word then...they didn't invent "Terrorists" yet, or something. "McCarthyism" is widely regarded as one of the most embarrassing ideologies in American history....yet here we are....again.
Just replace "Communist" with "Terrorist".

The placement of Mark Ruffalo on a terror advisory list simply because of his participation in a documentary, reminded me of all of The Hollywood Blacklist.
Rather than me explain it to you....just go here.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood_blacklist

See how eerily similar it all is?

Eh, what can I say, people....the great America seems to be crumbling down around us, and no one seems to either care or notice, because Snooki has a new boyfriend.
You know, after all the Wikileaks stuff broke, I was reading the comments under an article on a U.K. based website regarding a poll that day that said MSNBC found that 70% of the American people felt that Julian Assange was a terrorist.
One of the posters said something to the effect of.... 

"Look at them! They now can SEE how corrupt their Government is, and they want the head of the man who showed them, instead of those responsible!!"

SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!!!
Fear is a motherfucker, isn't it?
Not as much as complacency though.

I'm gonna leave you with a quote from one of Senator Joe McCarthy's strongest critics, Edward R. Murrow.
Just change out certain words to make it more applicable to current day terminologies and watch how creepy it gets....you'll know the ones, I'm too tired to explain it to you.....besides, Man Vs. Food is on, and I've just completed my Slacktivism for the day!

"His primary achievement has been in confusing the public mind, as between the internal and the external threats of Communism. We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men.

We proclaim ourselves, as indeed we are, the defenders of freedom, wherever it continues to exist in the world, but we cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. The actions of the junior Senator from Wisconsin have caused alarm and dismay amongst our allies abroad, and given considerable comfort to our enemies. And whose fault is that? Not really his. He didn't create this situation of fear; he merely exploited it—and rather successfully"
~Edward R. Murrow

Taking A Moment To Thank A Genius

This will be lost on you, because undoubtedly, you don't wash your hands after using a restroom, but for those of us who do, I want to extend a long overdue thank you to the Excel company for their magnificent product.

I give you....The Xlerator....

This magical device will have your hands dry in about 10 seconds flat.
I'm pretty sure it has hurricane force winds captured inside it's steel casing, that are released every time the sensor detects a hand is placed below.

Remember the days of old? A machine so weak, that it would have been quicker to pay the guy who just serviced you in the stall to just blow on your hands to dry them?
Those days sucked!

Or that silly "wave your hand under the dispenser and a towel rolls out" thing??
It gives you a sheet so tiny that only a fucking dwarf would be able to dry his little sausage hands with it, but it's pointless anyway, because he can't reach up to wave his hand under it.
I can picture the lil' fella now...jumping as high as he can with his hands flailing about, and then finally still.... looking up at the machine in silence with his sad little face...just wanting a towel, but knowing he can never have one. And then with his head down, slowly walking out of the restroom, as he dries his hands by rubbing them on the sides of his tiny pants.
Those are the moments in life to cherish, people. Don't let them pass you by without taking a minute to appreciate them!

But I digress....
The Xlerator is the greatest thing to ever hit the bathroom stall since the cologne guy. Not that I actually use the cologne guy, because I haven't rocked Drakkar Noir since the 80's....but I just like to know that he's there.
By the way...is there a dollar amount they could pay you, to get you to sit in a Men's restroom all day?
What a terrible way to make a buck.

Now, you may be asking yourself why I didn't discuss the much newer Dyson Air Blade instead of the Xlerator....

It's because I don't enjoy the Air Blade as much as I do the Xlerator.
Sure, it does a fine job of drying the hands, but I don't like the idea of putting my hands into something.
Every time I use the Air Blade, I feel like I'm presenting my hands to a police officer for cuffing, or that the machine is some sort of trap.
Besides, I don't just willingly surrender to "the man".

P.S....I'd like to see a dwarf try to use this one too!!!!

The Rally To Restore Sanity

We keep hearing about "values" and "honor" these days, and how they need to be restored. We hear about what the "Real America" is supposed to be.
The strange part about that is, the people who keep trying to force their belief system of "values", "honor", and "patriotism" down our throats, seem to be missing what America was all about.

The right to be who you want to be, live as you want to live, and to decide for yourself what the three things I mentioned above are, for you.

This past weekend, I joined an estimated crowd of 215,000 people in Washington, D.C., for the "Rally To Restore Sanity" that was held by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. The point of this get together was for Americans who feel that politicians have completely driven the train off the tracks, to join forces, and let their voices be heard.

It was for ALL people who share this belief.
I saw Whites, Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Indians, Muslims, Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, The Green Party, the young and the old, all joined together for one common cause....to say "ENOUGH!".

Enough Paranoia.
Enough Fear.
Enough Lies.
Enough Spin.
Enough Division.
Enough Propaganda.
And Enough of YOUR "values".

When did America become a place where everyone needs to adhere to one specific group's value system?
I thought this was a Democracy?
I thought each man was allowed to forge his own path here, based on his own choices and beliefs?
I think people forget that their values, aren't necessarily someone else's, and that when you try to push your values on someone, you become very non-American.

For those of you on the Right, that feel that this rally was an attack on you, sorry.
But when you align yourselves with the Tea Party of Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, you kind of put yourselves in that position.
For everyone who sees how crazy a lot of the fear mongering they offer is, I can only say this....
The elections tomorrow may not prove us right....but I believe history will.
I think this particular time in our existence as America, will be looked back on as a huge black eye for America. I believe this place in time for America, will be this generation's "McCarthy Era", but I hope it doesn't eventually contain events that overshadow it.

But now I want to tell you a simple story about how exactly what the rally was fighting against, is still alive and well, this very day!

At the end of the rally, as we were heading back to my car, my son asked me...
 "Do you think that the people in their costumes, and the Pro Prop 19 guys will hurt the way that people view the rally?"

I responded by saying that anyone who thinks those people hurt the point of the rally, didn't get the point of the rally in the first place, and that outlets like Fox News weren't going to tell the truth about what went on here today anyway.

He then said "Well, they can't lie about it, because there were cameras, and too many people who know what really happened."

I said "Oh, you'd be surprised what people will do to further their cause." 

This morning, my son called me. He had seen the "Fox and Friends" spin on The Rally To Restore Honor, and he was livid.
He said that he couldn't believe the flat out lies they told....including how the rally was all pro Obama and the liberal agenda, and reports of people trying to overturn and light the Fox News van on fire.

You see, we were near the Fox News van...and no one EVER bothered it...yelled at it....spit at it...nothing.
The only thing I heard, was people saying "Wow, I can't believe they actually are going to cover this...I wonder how they'll spin it." 

Well, my son doesn't have to wonder that now, because he WATCHED Fox News blatantly lie about what was happening there. 
He knows now that they in fact, distort reality for their own agenda.

My son was especially irritated with the female host of Fox and Friends, Gretchen Carlson, because of the way she tried to belittle Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert for not being "real newsmen" and laughing at the people who didn't understand that.
He said "When did they ever claim they were anything but comedians...and who there didn't realize that?" 
I told my son that he would have to forgive her....she was probably just a little upset that, while they are not real newsmen, she is....and yet I guarantee that more people know who they are than who she is, and that their respective shows probably have more viewers in one episode, than Fox and Friends has all month.
That fact is probably irritating her a little bit.

So what did Fox News accomplish with all of this?
It discredited itself on a personal level, to a 12 year old boy, who was a first hand witness to their lies.

So for him, the rally means more today, than it did Saturday.

Well played, Fox News!

How Do You Type Out The Close Encounters Theme?

So if you've been paying attention, you have noticed an insane amount of UFO sightings lately.
Starting specifically on October 13, 2010 in the day lit skies of Manhattan.

But here's what you may not know.
In his book, "Challenges Of Change" retired NORAD officer Stanley Fulham, who claims to be in contact with extra terrestrials, stated that they would begin revealing themselves to us on....you guessed it....October 13, 2010.

And if you take the number 10, 13, and 2010 do you know what that signifies???
Huh?
No, I'm asking you....I have no idea, but isn't that what people always do in these situations?
Look, I'm just as new to this as you are, you don't need to get all uppity on me!!!
Whatever.

Now let's look at this....the Vatican recently held meetings regarding how they would deal with the revelation of extra terrestrial life. That would kinda mess things up for them a little bit, you know.
Then back in September, there was all kinds of buzz about The United Nations appointing an "Alien Ambassador", for the day that we make first contact.

Then in October....the sightings begin en masse.
Strange, no?

Let start at the beginning....Manhattan....



Ok, weird, but no big deal in and of itself, right?

What about 2 days later in El Paso, TX.....



Then 2 more days later on the 17th in Richmond, VA....



Italy....



Phoenix the originator of lights in the sky...but this time...in the daylight.



And North London....



Then on October 21st, there was this from Washington D.C.
Notice that the helicopters observe, but nothing is done to the craft. Strange in a post 9/11 America, no?



The following night in Cincinnati, OH....



Oh now, you're thinking we were left out of all the fun again, weren't you my fellow Delawareans?
You were thinking that the only aliens we have are Christine O'Donnell and Glen Urquhart, right?
Well you're WRONG!!!

October 22, 2010: Route 7 and 41.......



I think they sent the most to us, because they saw Christine O'Donnell's "I am not a witch" spots, and realized we either really need some help, or some good old fashioned killin'.
Are you happy now, Christine???? Your dumb has made the aliens come out!!!!

And the list goes on and on....Bath, Maine....Scotland....Argentina....Moscow.
And let's not forget China having to shut down it's airports because this gem has appeared EIGHT times since June.



All I know is, if this is all fake, it's the biggest global conspiracy we have ever seen, and I tip my hat to the crew behind it. Well, figuratively that is....I don't actually own a hat.

If it's legit square biz....just kill us quick. That whole slave thing seems like a really shitty idea.
At the very least....you'll definitely end religion, and that works for me, because I REALLY get tired of arguing with grown ass people about Noah and his Magical Ark.

AnudderCast Is Officially The Greatest Podcast Of All Time.

I noticed that Christine O'Donnell sites her own articles from her own website, on her Facebook page, so I figured....what the Hell!!

Have you heard AnudderCast?
No?
Well where have you been?? Under a rock??

AnudderCast is only the most successful, and most downloaded podcast of all time!
More people download AnudderCast each day, than have watched every single SuperBowl...COMBINED!!!
No, it's totally true!

AND, AnudderCast is an aphrodisiac! Pinky Swear!!!
If your woman has been a little cold lately, put on AnudderCast, and Rosie from the old Bounty Paper Towels commercials will have to rush in to sop up the mess!!
No that's true....there were like studies done at one of the colleges that I may or may not have attended.

And you know who else loves AnudderCast?
Only a little known guy named Jesus.
Yup.
I ran in to him last week at Buffalo Wild Wings, and he was all like "Yo, Episode TwenT7 was ON POINT, Dawg!! Fo' reals!!!"
He wanted to pay for my meal, but it thought it would be a little much.

You know what else?
1 out of 4 doctors found that listening to AnudderCast kills the H.I.V. virus.
Yeah, I know that 3 out of 4 didn't, but lets just focus on what I *think* makes my point!

Anyway, if I were you, I'd be off to iTunes, Podbean, or Podcast Alley, and downloading AnudderCast....unless you LIKE not getting laid.

Walter and Pacman For The Atari 2600.

I've already told you that I'm 40 now, so I have no problem admitting that I used to play the Atari 2600 like it was my job.
Seriously....as much as I possibly could, I was planted in front of that thing.
That was, until Colecovision came along, but that's a whole other story.

Now, if you were around in the early 80's, or hell, even are around now, which you clearly are because you're reading this, you no doubt know what Pacman is. More importantly, if you do, you also know what Pacman is supposed to look like.
But nowhere in your recall, do you remember Pacman looking like this, right?



THAT, was the Atari 2600 version of Pacman....and it was a complete and utter piece of shit.
Atari COMPLETELY screwed everyone with that version of Pacman.
And it never had to be that way....in fact, years later, it was proven that it never had to be that way.

A guy who wanted to show what a lazy job the Atari programmers did with their port of Pacman, programmed his own version of the game, using an emulated 2600 developers kit.
In short, his computer simulated the tools that he would have had back in the early 80's, if he were a real Atari game programmer.

Here's what he turned out...

So as you can see, Atari raped you.
Atari raped us.
That was the Pacman we could have been playing in our homes.

But, I do have some found memories about their version of the game. Not involving me actually playing that piece of shit, because I never really did. But involving my friend Walter.

Walter was a high strung young fella....so much so, that he had a Ritalin prescription.
But getting him to actually take his Ritalin, was a magic trick that his mother seldom could pull off.
So most days, his energy level was a little more than what was desired.

There were two things that Walter loved and gave his undivided attention to, and they were both on his Atari 2600.
Pacman and Yar's Revenge.
Both games, I found to be really shitty...but he adored them for some reason that I will never quite understand.
His Pacman sessions stand out for me more than Yar's Revenge, because he actually put himself into the Pacman world.

If you recall from the video I showed you of actual gameplay, the sounds, much like the graphics, were NOTHING like what we had come to know with the arcade Pacman experience. That somehow did not bother Walter in the least bit. In fact, he embraced it.
When Walter would successfully consume a ghost, he would exclaim "PAAAA-KOOOO!!!"....each and every time.

But there was also a sound effect that Walter created FOR the game.
See, the Atari version of Pacman didn't have the cherries, strawberries, and other various fruits as it's bonus items that would appear below the ghost box. It had a giant square.
Yes, a square.
But Walter decided that it was a pie.
Yes, a pie.
So, each and every time he would eat the pie, he would exclaim "PIE FOR WALTER!!" Each...and...every...time.

All was right in Walter's world!
Except for one small problem.
Walter's brother Robert, would want his turn with their video game system.
This usually consisted in Robert entering the room and saying "Gimmie the jewystick, Walter!"
Yes, the "Jewystick".

You see, back then, you didn't have a game controller, you had a joystick.
This joystick, to be precise....

 

For some reason though, it was refered to as a "Jewystick" around their household. It would have made more sense to call it a "Chewystick" though, because someone in that house had left teeth marks all over the rubber stick part. It was literally gnawed upon.

What I most remember about the Jewystick, was it's final day.
Walter was playing Yar's Revenge, and Robert entered the room in his usual way.
"Walter, it's my turn, give me the jewystick!"

This was basically ignored by Walter, who was entrenched in his game.
Robert was persistent though, and finally gained Walter's attention. Walter assured Robert that when his game was over, he would give him his turn.
But it seems that Walter's word wasn't exactly good, as once his game ended, he simply began a new one.
This sent Robert into a frenzy.
I remember the final moments going like this.....


"Give it, Walter!....give me the jewystick!.....Give it here!.....give it here!....gimmie the jewystick!.....give it!.....give it!!.....give it here!.....gimmie the jewystick!....give it here!"

And then, in a volcanic eruption, Walter shot up from his seat and yelled "FINE THEN!!!!!", and smooth blasted Robert right on his skull top with the...."Jewystick".
I think someone didn't take their Ritalin that day.

It what seemed like slow motion, I remember the orange button flying across the room, and the stick flying another way, and then silence.
Just pure silence....a silence that matched my disbelief at what I had just seen.
But suddenly, the silence was broken by Robert wailing in pain. I remember him walking up the basement steps on his path to tell their mother, holding his head, and doing one of those screams that kids do where no sound is even coming out, but when it does, it's blood curdling.

Walter, knowing the ass whooping he was about to receive, looked to me and said in a panic "WE GOTTA GO!!!"....and out the back door we went!
As we darted up the alleyway, Walter's mother screamed from the kitchen window "You gotta come home sometime, boy!!!!!", and he did, but hey....why be killed now, when you can be killed later, right?

What's my point in all this?
My point is that Atari could have made a better Pacman, but I still have fond memories of the piece of shit they gave us, anyway.
Sometimes the things that suck the most, are the most fun to look back on.
Well....not for Robert, though.

I'm About To Be 40...Let's See What I've Learned Thus far.

I'm sitting here drinking a smoothie I just made in my Montel Williams HealthMaster Blender.
It consists of two bananas, two peaches, ten strawberries, some spinach, soy milk, ice, and a little peanut butter for protein.
I'll drink this throughout the day, while you eat a Double Quarter Pounder with "ham drippins" and extra cheese, washed down with a few Bud Light Limes or something.

And you know the best part?
You'll probably out live me.
Because that always seems to be the way these things go.

You see, I'm turning 40 this week, so I think I'm supposed to start be concerned about my health and stuff....at least, that's what everyone says, right?
As time has gone by, I have become more and more "health conscious". My lifestyle today, doesn't even begin to resemble the one I lived when I was 20, or even 25.
Those were fast food filled days, and Jagermeister filled nights...by the bottle.
I don't mean that to be an exaggeration, I literally would go out each night with a bottle of Jagermeister, and it would be gone when the night was done.
THAT, to me, was "social drinking".

But make sure you live that way in your youth....just for a little while.
It can be a HELL of a good time.
And if you don't....you'll be more likely to try to live that way when you turn 40, and have what is known as a mid-life crisis. That is when you become a total douchebag, and no one wants to be a douchebag.

However, through the various trappings of life, I have mellowed out considerably as of this typing...you know, days before I turn the "Big 4-0".
I hate that saying, by the way. That, and "Lordy Lordy, Look Who's 40!".
I just feel that the person who says that to you on your birthday, should be some incredibly overweight female co-worker that wears big sweaters, and has a lot of cats that are all named "Mr. or Mrs." something or other.
Don't be that person.
Don't ever be that person.
You may have convinced yourself that "Mr. Stompybottom" is all the companionship that you need, but that's just some bullshit rationalization mechanism that you've taught yourself to use, to stop yourself from wanting blow your brains out whenever you watch "The Notebook", and you realize that you will never have a story like that of your own.


Go have a story like that of your own.
It's your choice.
YOU know what's stopping it from happening...so do something about it.

Thing is, in my personal experiences, people who are overly invested in their animals, are so, because they completely lack the social skills to make their company desirable to human beings. So, they compensate by convincing themselves that their pets "love" them in the same way that another human would.
Let me break it down to you....your pets love you, because you feed them. If you no longer had food to give them, they would eat you.
However, if a human is starving, I doubt they would eat their child or significant other...get it?

If in this life, you get along better with animals than you do people, it's because you're an asshole.
Let the kidding of your self stop at this sentence.

Don't be an asshole. Don't be someone who walks into a room and knows that you owe apologies to people who were never anything but good to you. What's the point of that? What are you getting out of it?
I mean, I'm an asshole...but just because I say inappropriate things and such. But I never go around trying to fuck people over.
That's just bullshit.
And if you are someone like that....how's that worked out for you so far?
No need to answer...I already know.

But on the flipside of that...respect people who are genuinely trying to redeem themselves.
Do you know how difficult that shit must be? To know that people are thinking about you in a poor light when you enter a room, to know that you have a long road to walk down until others see you the way you now want to be seen. To be acknowledged for *truly* correcting your mistakes, and for the life you live now, not the one that you once did?
That has to be the worst....but they still do it, because they want to be better than they were.
Be thankful, if you've never had to try that hard.

Apologize when you should.
If you've done something terribly wrong, say you're sorry.....and mean it.
However, saying you're sorry, and repeating the offensive action over and over again, means you really aren't sorry at all. I just put that on the table because I've known people in my 40 years that seemed to think otherwise.
And not apologizing doesn't make you sophisticated or powerful.....it just makes things worse.
Save that "Apologies are a sign of weakness" shit, for overdone 80's movie characters who are trying to pull off a hostile takeover or something...if you were an asshole...apologize!
It makes you more of an asshole than you already are if you don't, so at least make an attempt to right your wrongs.
After all, the only thing that you can ignore, and it'll just go away, is your teeth.
I learned that from an old Crest commercial, or something or the sort.

At the same time, however, don't think that just because you're truly sorry, people have to forgive you.
Sometimes, and for me especially, it's not so much a matter of holding a grudge, as it is that I feel there's no value to you in my life.
That doesn't mean that the new you can't have value in someone else's....just that I have invested more time than I should have in you, and am completely not interested in investing a second more.
I suspect others have that same kind of policy.
It's kinda like going to a shitty amusement park. You paid your entry fee, you went on all the rides, but at the end of the day, you felt like it wasn't worth the time or money you spent on it. Since then, it's added new rides and cleaned up it's act a bit, but you just have no desire to give it another go.
Saavy?
Good.
Let's move on.

Don't be a braggart.
Here's a little tip from me to you....when you go around broadcasting how great your life is to everyone who will listen, it usually means....you hate your life.
I don't mean the occasional, "I love my life!!!" statement, I mean the constant full resume of everything awesome about YOU, gimmick.

Overcompensation: n- an attempt to make up for a character trait by overexaggerating its opposite.

See?
It's really pretty basic, and the fact that I have to walk you people through such things, is a little embarrassing.
But more importantly than the fact that everyone knows you're full of shit, you're just plain fucking annoying!
If people are expressing a current dislike of their life, and you plow in there with your "resume of awesome", they hate you. You do not resonate with them on a human level.
No one is impressed. No one is wishing they were you.
You're just a douchebag.
A simple "Hey, I know what you mean", or an anecdote of yours that rings similarly to what they're expressing at the time, is a little more in order.
Despite what you clearly think, blowing out other people's candles does not make yours shine brighter.
It just makes everyone else hate your candle.


If you're in a shitty marriage or relationship....become an "Ex".
Unless you're the part of the marriage/relationship that's shitty...in which case...stop being an asshole.
If you're thinking you'll just get away with your bullshit forever and that they'll never leave you because they've put too much time in, or because you have kids now, or because they have too much to lose....man, do you have a rude awakening coming your way.
And here's the worst part, right around the time that you realize that you really fucked up something good, and want another chance....that person will have had a lifetime's worth of you, and will be down the road and never looking back.

If you've found someone that's truly good to you...hold on tight, and never let go.
The owner of Mr. Stompybottom cries themself to sleep each night wishing they had what you do.
And they're waiting for their chance to pounce on your fuck up.

But if you aren't the one screwing it up, and you're the decent one in the relationship...there is nothing worse than being stuck with someone you can't stand.
For all of you out there, and I know there are some, I feel your pain. I know what it's like to go out to social events, and want people to think that everything is everything in your marriage, to put on your best face and your best fake smile, but meanwhile be secretly evaluating who you should have stayed with/went for/never let get away/or would rather be with, instead.
It's a motherfucker, isn't it?

No matter how hard you try, you just can't get them to work with you to make the relationship good, right?

Look, it's just this simple....whether you're a man or a woman, and you're in one of these kinds of relationships, there is someone better for you out there!!
There's someone who has your sense of humor, someone who likes to talk about things you like to talk about, someone who wants to experience things that you want to experience, someone who isn't a drunk or a drug user, someone who doesn't lie to you constantly, someone who isn't violent or busting your balls constantly.
That, is who you should be with.

Life is short....it really is....why waste one more minute with someone who drains the life from your body?
Someone who is all about themselves.
Do you really want to be with them for the rest of your life?
No?
Then why be with them for the rest of the week?
It doesn't matter how much YOU valued a relationship, if the other person doesn't value it at all.
That's a VERY important thing to think about.

CARPE DIEM, BITCHES!!!

Spend as much time with your kids doing the things they want to do, as possible.
People will always tell you how fast it all goes by, and it's so incredibly true, that I really can't convey it accurately in words. One of my children will be a teenager in just a couple months, the other is a preteen....but I can still remember taking them hunting for Batman figures and Care Bears, and more importantly, the excitement they had when they found the exact one they were looking for, like it was yesterday.
And I always will.
I can't imagine being like some of the people I have seen, who have children, but invest no time into them at all. Who don't care what their interests are,  and who have never shown them something that sparked a new interest in them.
I also don't care for people who try to shelter their children from the realities of life. You aren't doing them, you, or anyone else a service.
Talk to them, and explain things in detail....you'll be surprised how much better things flow that way.

Place an inordinate amount of value on your friends.
They are the only people who know what a total fuck up you've been your whole life, yet still will call you to go out for a beer on Saturday.
There's something to be said about that. 

And express yourself.
Do something you like to do. Don't just be another cog in the machine...say something, draw something, build something, grow something, compose something...anything...but leave some kind of mark. Be known for SOMETHING even if you aren't good at it....just be known for trying to be.
Believe me, there are people that I can think of, that just the thought of them can bring a smile to my face, simply because of how badly they wanted to be good at something that they weren't.
There's something very endearing and admirable about that.

But most importantly, I guess, try to not look back and have too many regrets that weigh on you constantly.
Because I guess that's what all of it is about, right?
If you've done the terrible things I've mentioned here, and haven't done the great things, you probably have regrets.
That, I guess, is what we all need to figure out....how to avoid regret.

I'm still working on that.

The Future: Where Will All The Jobs Go?

Print Media Is Now What Radio "Stories" Were To Broadcast Media

I was recently listening to an episode of "This Week In Tech", where guest Kevin Rose of Digg.com was talking about his new Amazon Kindle. One of the focuses was the dramatic price drop to a mere $139, no doubt to fend off the mighty Apple iPad, which at the time of it's debut, was just a couple hundred dollars more than a Kindle, with a LOT more functionality.

More likely than not, within a couple years, the Kindle will be free with the promise of a few book downloads. So, that means everyone will be able to have a device which allows them to read books and newspapers on them at all times.
Even if you don't want to go the Kindle route, I'll bet most of you as of this typing, have a device in your possession on which you can access up to the minute news, right?
Sure you do. After all, at the very least, you have the computer that you're reading this on right now. It has access to all sorts of news, and it's updated every single second.

For the techies out there....remember the days where you'd have to wait until your favorite magazine ran it's features on the most impressive items from CES or E3? It's much nicer being able to watch the presentations streaming live, isn't it?

What would ever make you want to go back to the way things were?

Sure, print media served us well for a VERY long time, but now that we can have things beamed to our devices, why should we stay that course?
Why would we want to?

Some of you may be thinking "Yeah, but what about when you're in an area where there's no decent Wi-Fi?" Well, sure...that's a problem right now, but how big of a problem will it be in the near future?

The White Space Spectrum

Remember all those airwaves that were getting used when broadcast television was analog?
No...the way you used to get it before digital conversion?
Ok...when you still used rabbit ear antennas....THAT broadcast signal!
Well, those are all freed up now, and the FCC has cleared the path for White Space Wi-Fi to begin rolling out. Right now, it's download speeds are not what most people are accustomed to, but they're more than adequate for text based downloads....like your newspapers, magazines, etc.
So, while still in it's infancy, White Space Spectrum will eventually blanket this Country in Wi-Fi, the same way television did not that long ago. You WILL be able to get your newspaper wherever you are.

Menus Are Printed Too

Yes, in a way, menus are also print media, but restaurants have already begun eliminating them too.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm taking things way too far now, right?
You're thinking that I'm talking about some sort of "Jetsons" future, right?
Well, you're wrong.

The following video is just an example of what is beginning to happen around the World.
A little bit later, I'll explain to you what this all means.



Well, what did you think?
Pretty high tech, huh?
Not as much as you may think.

This is Inamo in London.
iPads are a little too pedestrian for them....so at Inamo, your whole F'N table is a touch screen menu.



What This Means To You And Me, Rusty

How do you feel about all of this?
Does it frighten you? Because maybe it should.
There's a lot of focus being put on the print media industry these days, and it's ability or non-ability to survive in an ever growing, ever evolving, technological landscape.
I've just shown you here how unlikely it is that there will still be print news even ten years from now.
USA Today has even announced that they are going to begin "de-emphasizing" their print edition. That basically means killing it off, boys and girls. They just don't want to flat out say it, and send shockwaves into an industry that's already hanging on by a thread.

But let's go beyond the print world now, shall we?
Think back to the videos you just watched with the iPad and touch screen table menus.
I KNOW you have a short attention span because you been diagnosed with A.D.D., but think real hard.
Remember now?
Ok.
Besides printed menus, there's something else missing from those restaurants now too. Do you know what it is?
It's a wait staff.
That's right, the wait staff isn't really needed anymore. Just someone to bring the food from the kitchen to the table. Ordering your meal is far more expeditious with an iPad; you never have to wait for someone to "get around to you"...you just order when you're ready. And it's far more cost effective for a restaurant to pay ONCE for an iPad, than to pay weekly for a full wait staff. Even the least bright among us can do that math.
So, sorry waiters and waitresses out there...your time is short.
The days of nice tips are over.
You could always get a job at a local fast food place or something.
Or can you?

The way I see it, if we've reached a point where we don't need wait staff anymore, we CERTAINLY won't be needing cashiers at fast food chains.
You'll simply walk up to the touch screen, touch "Two double triple Big Macs, a Super Dooper size chocolate covered fries, and a small Diet Coke."...then swipe your debit card, or insert your cash, and voila...out comes your heart attack on a dirty tray.

Drive Thru, you say? NO PROBLEM!
How about a Wi-Fi sync that allows you to place the order on your way to the restaurant, on your touch screen handheld device? You simply are handed the food at the window when you arrive, and it's automatically billed to your debit once you hit "Submit Order" on your handheld.

What about your job?
Can you think of ways in which this kind of stuff can eliminate the need for you?
And where will all these people go? What will they do for income?
See, this is about to get a WHOLE LOT BIGGER than print media. This isn't some distant future, this is now. THIS, is the genesis of the new world....it's just that no one is paying attention that closely.
They never do, until it affects them.

Lucky for you, you have me.