Just.....WTF?

Well how exciting, it appears that soon we might have Mrs. Poole from the Hogan Family as our Vice President!

Wait, let me guess.....
"Dude Mrs. Poole don't look like that, dude!! She's a TOTAL M.I.L.F!!!"

I hate you sometimes, America. (Christ, when the fuck did I become Bernie Mac, exactly?)
Eh, I don't care...I DO hate you sometimes America. Or at least I don't understand you, I guess would be more accurate. Has anyone listened to this woman? How can you NOT be nauseated by her?

Oh, and before I get too sidetracked, can we stop using "M.I.L.F." now? You should know something is over with once we reach the point that bounced lookin' old women with Jersey accents started trying shit on and asking their shopping companions "Does it make me look like a MIIIIILLLLLFFFFF, Susan? (<----insert the mixture of laughter with hacking pre-cancer cough.)
No Rhonda, NOTHING makes you look like a M.I.L.F.
Nothing.

As for Palin....please stop telling me how you're "just a hockey Mom from Alaska!". Please stop showing me how you like to shoot your gun....stop telling me about the PTA....I don't care if your husband is the "Iron Dog Champion"... stop mentioning that you were a beauty queen and then saying how you don't like to focus on that....stop trying to make me feel like you're about to show up at my door any minute with Oatmeal Raisin cookies...just...fucking....stop.

First and foremost, I don't want my Vice President to be an "average joe", and even if I did, we all know that you aren't really average anyway. So stop pandering to me. I think back to ole' W when he would show us videos of himself on the ranch rustling livestock and shit. He wanted us to know that he was just one of us. That he could "relate" to the everyman's struggle. But that was anything but true wasn't it? And before you think I'm just another person on the internet bashing Bush, I'm not. I voted for Bush during the last election...mostly because John Kerry was just a terrible salesman of...well...himself. And if YOU can't sell me on you...who can?

As I get older, I notice that I start to see things differently. While I know that our two party system if one of the biggest smoke and mirrors shows going, I'm not foolish enough to believe that it will operate any other way in the foreseeable future....SO, I know my choice must come from these two options. That in our "democracy", no real opportunity is given to an independent to become a viable candidate for the Presidency. So you can either accept that, and pick a lesser of two evils approach, or you can NOT vote in some sort of a protest posture, which to me is crazy.

Accepting what I've just said about the two options being the only options, I ask you this...is a World leader someone that you should laugh at for not being able to pronounce basic words? Sure, we've all come to accept that with our current President, and we make it fodder for the SNL's and MadTv's out there...but when you really think about it, how sad is it that our President can't SPEAK properly?
What example does that set?

When you deal with someone like that at your place of work, you clown them after they walk away, right? Oh stop lying, I know you do. Why do you always try to pretend you're above that kind of thing?

But what I'm saying here is this....if WE goof on people like this, imagine what it's been like for the rest of the World leaders who not only have had to listen to Bush turn basic words into an alphabetical train wreck, but then in the back of their minds have to worry about him labeling them "tersts" and bombing the shit out of their Countries?

Wouldn't it be nice to have a leader that you know you couldn't out-debate? Ok, maybe not *know*, but don't you think you could sometimes?
I mean seriously?
I want my leaders to make me feel like I shouldn't even TRY to speak in front of them because nothing I could say could even come close to the eloquent tapestry of words that they just laid down in front of 38 million viewers. I want my leaders to NOT be "just like all of us"....I want them to be MORE than the mediocrity out there that wants to be a M.I.L.F, or has a magnetic car ribbon for every occassion. I want them to have NOT sat with their girlfriend last night watching the season premiere of "90210" while thinking "Wow, they really did a decent job with this" as he was trying to drown out the sound of his girlfriend saying "Are you SURE you're not gay?"......um..no....that wasn't ME, I'm just uh....creating a hypothetical example.

Oh whatever....what were YOU watching last night that was so masculine?

Anyway, at the same time, I don't want my leader saying that they're "just figuring out this internet thing". Because the internet isn't exactly something "new fangled" in 2008. And I certainly don't want my leader introducing his ridiculous choice for a VP and talking about her husband winning the "Iron Dog MOTORIZED SNOW MACHINE race". Are you fucking with me? Motorized snow machine? Does this fucker think that you still have to crank start your car? It's a SNOWMOBILE, Methusala!!!

I can't wait until the debates with Joe Biden. I won't even say that Biden will eat her for dinner, because dinner is one of the three main meals of the day. Biden will eat her like a guy that's sitting around between lunch and dinner on a Saturday afternoon watching Munsters re-runs and then all of a sudden has a small hunger ping. He gets up...goes to the fridge and sees that there isn't much there...so without any thought, he squeezes some squirt cheese on some crackers an downs them without even giving them the courtesy of worrying about presentation on their plate, because there is no plate...there's a paper towel.

That's what Palin is....crackers with squirt cheese on a paper towel.

We get it Senator McCain, you needed a "When You Wish Upon A Star" magic to your campaign too....you needed that extra "Wow" factor. But when your wow factor comes off like a Julia Sweeney character from Saturday Night Live....well, let me leave you with a quote from someone else who is "just like me"....

"I knew I should have made a left at Albequerque."
~Bugs Bunny