Metallica: Philadelphia, PA 1/17/2009

Yeah, I know it was a while ago, but the last time I checked I wasn't getting paid for this shit, so deal motherbitches!

Now, I have seen Metallica live on several occasions in my life. More importantly, I saw them when you WANTED to see them...back when they were young, and lighting the world on fire with their brand of metal.
I don't care what anyone says, that was an amazing time in the late 80's. There was nothing like it for me, and there really has never been anything like it since. For us, the "metalheads" or whatever name you want to throw at it, we knew something that the rest of the world didn't. We knew that the sound we loved was blazing a new trail...was creating a turning point in the music world, and every time those who didn't "get it" yet would make their comments of "oh yeah..that music's real cool..."KILL YOUR MOTHER! KILL YOUR MOTHER!!", we would think "What a tool." and laugh at you. But it wasn't just the laugh that a person throws at another person out of dislike, it was the laugh of absolute assurance. See, we knew you were really just..well..a tool.

In the long run, I think we were right, and you were wrong.
After all, where's your Scritti Polliti now?

After Metallica's Black Album tour, in 1991-92, I SWORE I would never pay to see them again. You see, Metallica had finally reached the "tools". All of those people who just a couple years prior were power drinking with their friends and singing along to "Funky Cold Medina", had now discovered "Enter Sandman".
Now, I'm not being a metal purist or anything...I'm not saying you can't play in my clubhouse, but the vibe just changed all around.
The vibe at the show was different.
The vibe from the band itself was different.

Metallica didn't seem as energetic on stage anymore...and the energy at the show was not the same, because now, instead of an arena filled with people who knew all of the songs..you had tons of people who were lost when ANYTHING other than Black Album material was playing.

The electricity was gone, for lack of a better description.

This is the part where I'm an older guy, and a very strange moment occurs in my life.
My son, likes Metallica.
My son, wanted to go see Metallica.

How weird is that?
If you're a young guy reading this right now...picture a day when you're getting near 40 and your kid wants you to take him to see Slipknot or something. You're not quite as cool as you used to be..you're just trying to pay bills and shit..there's nothing hardcore or rebellious left in you.
Actually, I was never really that cool, but just play along, I'm getting to something here I swear!

Picture you're at a point where you're wondering where the hell all the time went...and you SWEAR it was just yesterday that you were doing funnels of 100 proof Southern Comfort and Coke at 10am because you were challenged by two Marines on leave in Ocean City, MD, and then you passed out for 8 hours with borderline alcohol poisoning only to wake up and have some chick that you were trying to nail show up piss drunk and asking you to come back with her and her friends to their hotel, but you were too much of a bitchsissy to capitalize on it when she was clearly trying to get things to take a turn while you were alone with her, because even in YOUR completely jacked up state, you could tell that she was a step away from a roofies level of unconsciousness. And NOW you look back and....wait...what was I talking about?

Oh yeah...so you're that guy, right...but in between that time, and current day, you mellowed out, stopped all that silly power drinking, got married, started a business, had kids, and got divorced.
You are now, the stereotypical late 30's white male.
Just a cornbread motherfucker.

Are we squared up until this point?
Good?

So your kid says he'd like to go see Metallica.
What a bittersweet experience.

On one hand, you're getting to take your kid to something that you know will be a magical experience. You remember the first time you went to a concert of a band you really liked, right?
You remember how amazing every single moment was?

But on the other hand, you have reached the age...*I* have reached the age, that my child wants to go see a band that was a symbol of my teenage years. Perhaps THE musical symbol of my teenage years.

Where did all the time go?
Seriously, it's fucked up people.
Listen to your pal, Joe...that shit your parents tell you...that shit about "before you know it, you'll be my age"...THAT is some square biz shit if there ever was any.

This time out, we saw Metallica from a luxury suite...fully catered and an open bar.
A little different from the old days.
(On a side note...a big THANKS to Howard Z. for making my kid's first concert the amazing experience it was!)

As we sat there, my kid saw "the pit"...he turned to me and said.."Those people are nuts! Look at them!.
The corner of my mouth went up a bit in sort of a smirk, and I said to him "In a few more years...that's the only place you'll want to be. Then, you'll get to my age now...and you'll want to be back up here."

I'm getting old, people.

Oh, I guess you want to know how the concert was, huh?
Well, Metallica was as tight and energetic as I had ever seen them.
I was truly stunned at how *together* they were after all these years.

They've gotten old with me.
Somehow though, they got to keep being cool and I didn't.

But us old "metalheads" do have this...our kids want to still see the bands that we loved back then.
Your kid NEVER has asked you to go see Terrence Trent D'Arby.

We were right.