I remember the first time I met Steve Romeo.
I was married at the time, and I never came out much...but this was one of the rare occasions that I did. At that time in my life, I always felt "out of the loop", so to speak. The people of "my circle" seemed to be changing all the time, and so did the hangouts. On this particular night, we were heading to McKenzie's Brew House...yet another "new hangout" as far as my uncool, married ass was concerned.
When we got there, everyone decided to head down to the lower level, where the pool tables are. As we reached our destination, I saw Maureen "Mo" McGinley...she was someone that I recognized...NOT one of the new faces that I didn't know. BUT, Mo did have a new face with her on this night. He wasn't someone I had seen before. I turned to one of my friend's and asked "Who's that guy?", they responded "Oh, that's Mo's boyfriend Steve.". Now, I'm going to be honest...all this meant to me was that I was going to have to meet yet another new face, that I was sure wouldn't be around by the next time I actually made it out of the house.
What can I say...I'm a cynical bastard...I admit it.
Within a few minutes after me asking a friend who he was, I remember turning back in the direction in which I last saw him, and RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, hand already extended in what almost seemed like something out of a movie...was Steve.
"Hey, how's it goin'? I'm Steve Romeo...Mo's boyfriend!!!"
"O...K....I'm Joe McCabe...Mo's friend." I responded, not quite sure what just happened exactly.
"Do you wanna shoot some pool?" He immediately asked.
"Nah...I'm just gonna sit back here and enjoy my drink." I said.
Now, I told you....I'm a cynical bastard, and I honestly wasn't quite sure how to take this burly guy and all his over-friendliness!
Oh c'mon...I told you I'm a jerk sometimes, people!
I'm kinda like an Archie Bunker type, you know....I don't take well to you at first, but eventually I will....well ok, most of the time, anyway.
As I sat at the back wall with my drink, Steve came to talk to me again.
"So how long have you known Mo?" he asked?
"Oh....since around 1990 or so, I guess." I explained.
"Oh....well, we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago. Man, I never thought she would go out with me!" he said.
"Why's that?" I asked.
Now I don't remember what he said he was doing prior to their meeting, it was something about working all day...or doing something outside, but he said the following just as I began sipping my Jack and Coke.
"....so there I was trying to talk to her, all fat, and I SMELLED LIKE A FUCKIN' HOAGIE, BRO!!!"
That, catching me completely off guard, coupled with his slap to my shoulder as he got up to take his turn at the pool table, left me choking on my Jack and Coke.
Self deprecation is right up my alley.
This guy just might be around a while.
The next time I saw Steve, was at a party of a friend named Andy Mitchell. He always had these backyard parties when the weather got warm. Again, being married, I missed most of them, but this one I remember.
Steve was talking to Mo, and he said something close to the following "See how lucky I am, baby? All these guys here wish they were with you, but you're with me."
Mo kinda chuckled, and went off to get a beer or something, and I remember someone saying to him "Christ, dude...you already got her...she's been with you for months, you don't have to lay it on so thick".
And I remember the smile dropping off of Steve's face, and him saying "Huh? Whadda ya, mean?"
I then realized...this guy REALLY meant what he's saying!!!
See, as guys...we watch a lot of cats SAY shit, that they don't mean, and THEY even laugh about it when the woman walks away.
But he wasn't laughing.
He had the look of confusion that I can only imagine a child would have when you tell them there's no Santa Claus.
Mo and Steve were married shortly after that.
The last time I saw Steve Romeo out and about, we hadn't seen each other in quite a while.
I remember a loud "HEEEEEYYYYY, BRO!!!!...What, did you drop off the face of the Earth or something?"
I had since gotten divorced...a divorce that turned inexplicably ugly, and now I was in the middle of a new relationship...so again, I wasn't going out much anymore.
So I said to Steve "Ah..man....I'm seeing someone, ya know? I spend all of my time with her."
He said "Fuck, brother...you must be IN LOVE!!! After the divorce, and now you're RIGHT back into a committed relationship?"
I said "Yeah, man...I am."
Then he said.."Well good, man...I'm glad you're happy again, and you know what this means?....WE NEED TO DO SOME SHOTS ON ME!!!!"
And we did.....and did....and did.
Shortly after that, Steve was diagnosed with cancer.
I'm not telling you this story because Steve Romeo and I were great friends.
We didn't even have each others phone numbers.
I'm telling you this because he was one of THOSE people.
The kind that you can hang out with a few times over the span of several years, but they leave an indelible impression on you. Just like the ones that I was able to vividly recount for you now.
Somehow, I find myself very emotional over the loss of that loud, burly, shot buying, bastard. Maybe it's because he's the first one from my circle of friends to go. Maybe it's because as a father, I can't imagine being him and knowing I was leaving my children behind, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Maybe it's because it just doesn't seem right.
But the main reason I'm putting this here, is for a permanent record.
I've seen people who had lost their parent at a young age, and I always thought that it would be nice for them to one day be able to know who their parent was to the people around them. How were they perceived, what did it mean to everyone when they walked into a room, and what was the one memory that encapsulated their parent to the person telling it?
So, I invite you all to use this place to leave your memories of Steve, if you want to.
And to Mo....
I hope you know that we all see you as an absolute soldier, for lack of a better word. I can speak from experience when I say, I have had MANY phone conversations regarding your situation, and EVERYONE has the utmost admiration for you as a wife, a mother, and a friend.
You have been the quintessential example of what a wife is supposed to be to her husband. You stood by Steve through terrible conditions, and exhibited a strength that all of us have said we didn't think we could have.
Steve was right that day in Andy Mitchell's backyard...he was a VERY lucky guy.
I hope you know that.
And I'm sure your children do too.
Rest In Peace, Bro.
3 comments:
Great story Joe. I will tell you the first time I met Steve. Coincidently, it was also in a bar with pool tables. We were all out for a night of drinking and shooting some pool at Bank Shots in Wilmington. Mo showed up with Steve. For those that know me and who know Steve, you know that we could both be a little loud and very forward....oh and competitive! Two wrestlers....what do you expect? Anyway, we decided to shoot some pool after Steve informed us how good he was....so we also agreed to a "friendly wager" of a few bucks. After a few games in which I had a lucky streak going, somehow the game ended in Steve and I not on the best of terms....you know how it goes with cocky guys, betting and oh yeah alot of drinks! That was the last time I recall not being to sure about Mo's "new guy". As you all know, once you get to know Steve, it was impossible to not like Steve. Since that first time hanging out, Steve was nothing but a friend and great guy. Although we may not have hung out alot or called each other to go out, when we did go out or see each other at a party or bar, Steve greeted me as a close friend. He was always one of the happiest guys that I knew, even the last time I saw him at his own benefit. You never saw Steve down in the dumps and that is what I remember him for the most....a guy that appreciated his life.
As Joe said, he always let us know how lucky he felt to have Mo. I think the past 10 months showed us all that Steve was right. They were lucky to have each other. While that time may have been unfairly cut short, I know niether would trade the time they had together. Now with Steve passing, he has left Mo with two beautiful children who will carry on the traits of both of their parents.
Mo, please never forget that you have many, many friends that would do anything for you and the kids.
Rest in peace Steve.
Mike Datillo
Dear Stephen and Victoria,
When I first met your father I have to say I wasn't quite sure how to take him. I mean, I am kind of a laid back quiet dude, and he was bursting with personality and so outgoing. As I shook his hand, I thought, wow this guy is out there. I said "hi ya doin man, I am Bugz". I don't remember our conversation, but knowing me and how shy I can be around people I don't know, I am sure it didn't get to involved.
In my eyes every time after that when we were at the same gathering he was nothing but Mr. Positive. He was ALWAYS happy! He was always smiling. I never heard judgment cross his lips. He would make everyone in our group smile, he just had that affect on people. He brought out the inner happiness in his friends. He was a very big hearted person. This was not hard to figure out, I mean I wasn't that close with your father, but the times I did hang out with him I learned all this very quickly!
You have a wonderful part of your father within you, and I know the both of you will be just as kind hearted. Your father would have given the shirt off his back...
Be proud!
Darren (Bugz)
I moved away from Wilmington in 1993 to Denver. I am writing this today because, like Joe, I am confused by the emotions I am feeling over the loss of a guy I barely knew.
I've known Mo for a long time. We were not the closest of friends (nor did we ever have a problem with one another) but shared a lot of mutual friends. When I come home to visit, there are times that I hang out with MY friends NEW friends. This can be awkward as I tend to sometimes feel out of the loop, nor am I a great conversationalist with strangers. This was not the case with Steve. He absolutely WAS one of THOSE guys. I found him to be one of the most upbeat, easy to talk to, genuine people I have ever met. In a world where even the nicest people have enemies, I can honestly say that I have never heard anyone say a bad word about Steve.
I only hung out with him a few times, and that is my loss! To Mo and the children, you have my deepest sympathy over the loss of an extraordinary man.
Sincerely,
Steve Snyder
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