Terminator: Salvation

"I'll be back"
You know what....how 'bout no?

Ok, let's just start here.....
GET THIS F'N McG off the helm of this project!!!

Maybe I'm old timey and shit...but I don't EVER want to see a franchise I once loved, taken over by a guy who sounds like he was the DJ on "In Living Color".
You know what I mean? "Give it up for McG and The Fly Girls!!!!"
Sorry...I know it may just be me...but that's where I'm at.

Now in the interest of fairness, something hit me while I was watching this film.
It COMPLETELY lacks suspense.
Not that the film itself failed...I mean it did, but not in this particular aspect.
Let me explain, and if you don't want any spoilers, go away now.

Ok.

Are you gone?

Don't be hiding there, and then complain later that I ruined shit for you!

Whatever.


Now, in the first Terminator film, Kyle Reese is sent back in time by John Connor, to protect his mother, Sarah Connor, from Arnold Schwarzenegger's sexual advances or something. We all know that...we've known that's what happens since 1984, correct?
Well in Terminator Salvation, we follow John Connor's attempts to protect Kyle Reese IN said future, so that he can send him back in time and fulfill what he KNOWS has to happen in the past.

My point?
We KNOW that Kyle Reese DOES IN FACT get sent back in time to 1984, SO where is the suspense?
Do we ever think..."Shit, I hope Reese lives, otherwise everything I've ever known is fucked!!!"
NO, you DON'T think that because we know from the first film he DOES make it back in time safely, so you CAN'T think anything could be different...unless you're someone who also was hoping that the ship wouldn't sink in Titanic. (Note that I tied two James Cameron films together to illustrate your stupidity)

This brings me to the crux of the problem with the Terminator films as a whole now.
They're pointless.
See, we know that in an absolute sense the following occurs...

1.) John Connor sends Kyle Reese back in time to protect Sarah Connor.
THAT fact destroys ANY possibly of Kyle Reese's death in the future timeline.

2.) ANY attempts made by Skynet to send Terminators back in time to kill Sarah Connor OR John Connor failed, because see #1.
Therefore, any previous film's suspense is negated by the fact that John Connor DOES exist in the future and therefore OBVIOUSLY is never killed by the Terminators in the past timeline.

And THAT, is what was driving me crazy about this film. Connor's sense of urgency to protect Reese. "If he dies, I won't exist, and humanity is screwed!!!"
Really?
See, I would have had THIS attitude...."Fuck it. Obviously whatever I do, I do right, because I KNOW he goes back in time, and screws my Mom, because I'm here now, ain't I? Now someone go find me a whore and some Jack Daniels...we'll go look for him in the morning or something."

Do you see what I mean?
HowEVER you did it at that point...you did it right...it DOESN'T matter.
And there are supposed to be TWO MORE of these things, because Christian Bale signed a three picture deal.

Eh well, I did have a couple suspenseful moments while watching yesterday.
First during the previews, they showed the trailer for Sasha Baron Cohen's "Bruno", and the whole time I kept thinking "Please don't show the asshole bleaching incident..PLEASE don't show that!!!", because I had my kids with me...and I didn't want to have to explain that.
THEN, I thought some popcorn butter had leaked out of the bucket and got on my jeans...but it didn't.
So I mean, those were a couple of high energy moments, I guess.

Anyway..save your cash for something else...OR go see Star Trek again, because that F'N ROCKED!