Goodbye Hard Rock Park!

Last September...I went on a trip to Myrtle Beach, S.C. and visited the Hard Rock Amusement Park.
The park had JUST opened the previous Spring and as you can imagine, was based around all things Rock & Roll.
As crazy as it sounds...this day will go down as one of the best of my life. It was one of those moments where EVERYTHING just fell in place the right way, even when everything was wrong by all technical and moral definition.

Like from the moment it all began with the guy at our hotel who we had to buy our tickets from.
His "office" was literally a closet...and when we went in, we immediately noticed his hand was bandaged up and bloody....and as we sat to get our tickets, he began nervously explaining away the smashed file cabinet in the room as something that someone tried to "Jerry Rig".
He then went on to talk about people on "Talk Radio" shows that have anger management problems which is "just too much for him"....and his brother who owed him a BUNCH of money, and that he now had to explain this to his wife tonight.

Now, if you've read here long enough....you know how difficult it would be for me to not bust out laughing at this guy who CLEARLY lost money on a bet, then beat the SHIT out of his file cabinet as if IT picked the wrong horses, and now had to explain to his wife that he didn't have the rent money.
I LIVE for people like this!

YOU might see him and his situation as a sad state of affairs....I however, saw this as a GLORIOUS start to the day. A start that had us laughing during the entire car ride to the park from our hotel as we envisioned his talk with his wife that night...and things probably ending up for her, the same way they did the file cabinet.
But I have problems, people...I've told you this MANY times now.

In the park, things were not quite as interesting as him...but there were funny things in their own right, all the same.

There was "Led Zeppelin The Ride" which was a Zeppelin shaped rollercoaster that BLASTED "Whole Lotta Love" into your face for the entire duration of the high speed ride. Now, I know that sounds like a dream come true, especially if you're from Claymont, DE or Aston, PA. but was it REALLY perfect?
No.

As you waited in the queue, you were treated to a video that featured two guys PRETENDING to be Wayne and Garth from "Wayne's World"......in 2008. Not that I mean THEY were in 2008....I mean that apparently the ultra hip suits at Hard Rock corporate thought that an imitation Wayne And Garth would be "really hip with the kids" in 2008.
Really, people? "Schwing!"????

But somehow....maybe they were on to something, because we laughed our asses off at the sheer idiocy of it. Their "fail" at being hip....was a homerun....just like the File Cabinet Serial Killer.

Then there was "Phonehenge"....it was a bunch of British Phone booths arranged like Stongehenge. See? Get it?
Anyway...that was just a photo spot...but the hippie park attendant who approached us and gave us a flyer because he was campaigning his DOG for Governor was a bit more interesting.
No, he wasn't an act....he was just insane apparently.

We even had lunch in "Alice's Restaurant"....and were actually informed that we "could have anything we want"....as long as it was on the menu.

But the highlight of the day, was the dark ride "Nights In White Satin: The Trip".
I really don't even know how to do this justice...and much like they say about the 60's themselves, if you weren't there, you just really don't understand.
Let's just put it this way...you began by putting on 3D glasses, and from that point EVERYTHING was in 3D. The walls, the ceiling, the carpet....all in the dark, and day-glo painted.
It was as trippy as it claimed it would be, and was actually named one of the top three attractions of 2008 by ThemePark Insider.

But what made this day so amazing, is that we just about had the whole park to ourselves.
It was after the heavy season in Myrtle Beach, AND the park itself was doing terribly.
SO, we were able to do whatever we wanted...as many times as we wanted....and NEVER had to wait in any sort of a line.
It was so dead that when a ride would end, the crew would just ask if we wanted to stay on and go again!
AND the characters that walked around in the "British Invasion" section of the park, actually recognized us when they would see us come back around again....."THERE'S MY FRIENDS AGAIN!" would be heard from the guy who looked like Brian Jones....before the whole swimming pool mishap, of course.

The sheer silliness of everything, was magnificently absurd, and the epitome of perfect in my twisted sense of normalcy.

What's my point of all this you ask?

"Hard Rock Park" closed shortly after our trip because of poor performance, and re-opened as "Freestyle Music Park" this past Memorial Day, MINUS all the licenses that afforded them the rides that I mentioned here. I will never ride "Nights In White Satin" again...but I will ALWAYS remember it when I hear that song.
Everything I knew that day, is gone...never to return again.


See, even the logo sucks.

That perfect day can now never even attempt to be replicated.....well, for a number of reasons....but mostly because the place I knew doesn't exist anymore.
I mean....Disney World is always still there...so is Six Flags....but this place is gone now, at least the way I knew it.
Kinda weird to happen so quickly.

This was one of those rare moments when you knew that what was happening was something great...and in retrospect, it was even better now that it's gone.

I had an amazing day there...a day that will stay with me forever.
So I'd say I got my money's worth.