This looks just great!
They apparently throw you huge birthday parties on CRUISE SHIPS, where you can get up and sing with the band who plays ENTRANCE MUSIC when you walk in to a room!
No, seriously....look....
What? What do you mean they only do that for Tom Cruise?
Well fuck it then.
A couple of things...
1.) Cruise looks like a complete ass hammer singing that song. That right there, is the most cornball, whitebread bullshit that I think I have even seen. That video is actually cringe inducing to me.
The hand clapping. The "ISN'T THIS GREAT!?!?" looks that he's giving the people sitting next to him...the maniacal laughter...and that move where guys put their fist out and then pull back to their mid-section..WTF is that?!?!? WHO DOES THAT?
And it's all music from HIS films...what a self congratulatory bastard!
2.) His vocal stylings are very reminiscent of Chris Burke from ABC's long canceled "Life Goes On" ,when he went through that phase where he started a band. Plus, it's clear that the whole "impromptu" performance was anything but. Just watch the end...Cruise and the chick know EXACTLY what to do in sync. Which reminds me of something I've always hated about musicals like Grease....why are we supposed to believe that everyone just KNOWS the words to the song...or how to do all the dance moves in sync?
It's just bullshit when you think about it.
Like how did everyone know that the response to "We go to---ge---ther, like" was "Ram-a--lam-a-lam-a-da-ding-a-da-ding-a-dong"?
......Wait....and what the fuck is THAT, while we're at it?!?!?
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!?
Two things have become VERY clear to me after all of this....
1.) I need my own theme music too.
2.) I need a drink.
1 comment:
Where's Katy?
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