Dancing: The Worst Concept Ever?

Bring back some memories for some of you?

So last night some friends of mine had a birthday party for their son who turned 21....before I get in to the dancing thing...CHRIST does that make me feel old. I remember when this cat was born, I turned 21 around the same time as his father (which seems like yesterday by the way), and here their son is beginning the cycle all over again. I swear, with each passing day I find that I feel more and more like my parents. I wonder if when they were my age, they were also wondering why they didn't *feel * their age? Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm a bit of a jackass of sorts...I still laugh at very inappropriate things, and I'm often entertained with nonsensical bullshit...but I don't *feel* 37. That's almost 40, to you and me Rusty!!

Anyway, after the party some people went to a local place called Cafe Scalessa or something close to that name...so me, my girlfriend, and friend Darren followed. I was immediately reminded of something that I don't miss about being 21 and still in the bar scene.
Turns out, Cafe Scalessa was dance club...well at night anyway. During the day, it appears to be a pizza joint....yes you read that correctly. It apparently was VERY chic, because it had pictures of mobsters all over the place. And no, not real mobsters...at least that I saw...but Don Corleone, Tony Montana, Michael Corleone etc.
Read: Movie Mobsters.
Nothing says class like a still shot of Al Pacino in "Scarface" firing his "little friend" at his attackers.

But what's worse than a restaurant that would use this for their decor, is people who would feel at home around this decor. You know them...you've seen them...tanning bed addicted guys with hair drenched with TONS of product in it, pushed upward so they look like a Japanese Anime character, and girls whose sole source of identity shaking their ass around while mouthing all the words to the latest Fergie song.
They've existed throughout time in different shapes and forms, but somehow in their particular place in time, they've always looked the same by comparison to the rest of society.
And I've never "got" them or what they do.

When I was a younger fella, this was the show that was on every day when I got home from school. I would pass by it from time to time, and just shake my head. Maybe it was because I'm a "metal guy" at heart? Do any "metal guys" dance?
Anyway...I give you "Dancin' On Air"



See, I don't "get" dancing. As a man, I have no natural inclination to do it. Nothing in me says "OH SHIT, CHA CHA SLIDE!!!! QUICK, WHERE THE "F" IS THE DANCE FLOOR?!?!?"
I just don't get it.

Over the years, when I've asked guys that I know who dance why they do it, they always say the same thing...
"To get chicks, dude!"
Really? Does anyone really buy this? I mean, I could see attempting to dance to get a girl...I won't do it...but I could see it, I guess.
But I'm talking about guys who KNOW how to dance. Like when The Running Man was the hottest shit going...they OWNED The Running Man. Cats who would even have their tongue hanging out the side of their mouth while they held on to their ankle, because they saw David Silver dancing like that on 90210.
Wait...why would anyone emulate that assclown? In retrospect, wasn't that an awful show?
Eh...subject for another time.

But my point is...you just don't KNOW how to do that shit, right? I mean these guys had to be practicing in their bedrooms or something...am I right? I certainly wouldn't know how to just do that shit. I always pictured that if I actually danced, I would look like George McFly when he was standing there alone at the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance in Back To The Future. Just content to be a complete toolshed while bopping up and down out of sync with the song.
Who wants to look like that?

So in order to dance correctly...I'd have to practice...and as I said, I never had inclination to do so.
I don't like the music, the look, the dances...any of it. I do not like dancing in a house, I do not like it with a mouse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it any where. But when I was younger...friends would insist on going to places like this.

Maybe 37 isn't so awful after all.