Big Brother Is You!

Remember "Big Brother"?
In George Orwell's fictional novel "1984", we were all going to be watched by "Big Brother".
He would see us everywhere....and know all that we did.
And in case you ever for the briefest of moments forget...there were pictures like the one above all over the city to remind you.

Ya'll best behave!

It's weird when you get so far passed a time that at one point in your life was in the future.
I remember when 1984 was a date that everyone was talking about...discussing whether it would end up being like the Orwellian 1984...or at least how similar it would be.
Turned out....it wasn't very similar at all.
Neither was the depiction in the movie "Class of '84"...but that's kinda different all together.
Or what about "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century"?
The intro voiced over said "It was the year 1987, and Nasa launched the LAST of it's deep space probes."
Well, the year is 2009, and Nasa has YET to launch the first of it's manned deep space probes.
Eh...you get what I mean.

In the years that have passed, I have seen many interviews with guys that you can tell spend a LOT of time smoking various things, as they are protesting the cause du jour, and their statement usually falls along the lines of...

"Hey man, it's pretty clear to me that America is starting to become a police state....I mean think about it...Big Brother IS watching, man!"

And you know what?
That throwback hippie dickbag is right!!
But not in the way he thinks.

You see....YOU....and ME....ALL of us....we're Big Brother.
Not "The Man"...not "The System".....US!

"The Man" didn't blatantly come right out and start keeping tabs on us they way it was always believed he would eventually do.
No, his plan was FAR more insidious than that.
Without brainwashing you...without injecting you with some mind altering drug that "they" TOLD you was a Flu shot, or shooting some secret mind control ray (that was originally conceived by Nikola Tesla using alternating current, and later perfected at Area 51) across your town while you slept, "The Man" got you to do his dirty work FOR him.

How?

He gave you Facebook and Twitter. (I would have added Myspace, but everyone who's anyone stopped using that a long time ago, Paris!)
And when he gave you Facebook and Twitter you sung like a canary!
You told him what you watch...what you read...what music you like....where you go...who your friends and family are...who THEIR friends are....then all of the previous things that I noted repeated about them, and so on and so on!
But that's not enough!

Then you join groups....and those groups let "The Man" know what you're all about too!
How do you lean politically? "The Man" knows.
Are you a Muslim, Jew or Christian? You've told "The Man"...no...you certainly did...go check your "Info" tab on your profile.
Did you just change jobs? "The Man" knows because you just updated your status about how happy you are!
We're you a "burnout" back in the day...but you're VERY straight laced now?
"The Man" knows that too, because Mike posted pics from the time that you guys were smokin' some INSANE shit that Pete's brother got from his friend.

Hey....remember the time you all dropped acid in Kev's basement and Mike thought tiny aardvarks were searching for ants in his penis hole?!?!?
God that was hilarious wasn't?
Now "The Man" thinks it was too.

Part of the "Mumia Abu Jamal Is Innocent" Group?
RED FLAG!
You support the killing of police officers at worst, and at the least are a liberal radical!

Hate Mumia and want him to die?
"The Man" thinks you may be a racist and have ties to the Aryan Resistance.

See how it all works?
But wait...there's more!

It seems that snitchin' on yourself and everyone you know wasn't quite enough for "The Man".
SO, he gave you the Blackberry and the iPhone.
NOW, you will not only TELL "The Man" everything about yourself...you will WILLINGLY provide up to the minute pictures and video of your whereabouts!
And what does that handheld device also have on it...a Global Positioning System!!

See?
It's that easy!
At any given moment..."The Man" can know where you are...WHY you are where you are...what you did and saw while you were there, and then what you felt you took away from the experience...because you KNOW you're gonna change your status on Facebook, or "Tweet" on Twitter."

We all snitch EVERY DAY.
When you read the next line, do it in Edward G. Robinson's voice...
"YOOOOOU Dirty RAAAAT!"

Wait, does anyone today remember Edward G. anymore?
Fuck...I think I'm getting old again.