Monday, September 29, 2008

Heather Locklear Had A Minor Indescretion

Ok, so a citizen calls 911 and tells them that they see a woman acting erratically.
What's erratic you ask?
Well, it seems that Heather was driving her car back and forth over a pair of sunglasses and revving her engine.
See...not so bad right?
Well....ok....then she left the parking lot and drove onto a main street and parked. Then...well...MAYBE she got out of the car and stumbled into the traffic lane.

Look people, do we REALLY need to pass judgment here?
I mean, just look at her up there! How ADORABLE does she look in that photo?
Don't you just want to give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be ok?

She had to live with Ritchie Sambora for YEARS!!!

Do you know how it must suck to have to listen about "Jersey this" and "Jersey that" all the time, only to have him yell "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!!!" while he's slamming the door on his way out after you ask him why, if Jersey is so great, he lives in California with you?

That's a comfortable chair you sit in America....pointing your "shame" finger at everyone.
You sicken me.

And Anudder Ting©, it's owner and staff would like to let Heather know that we understand.
You're right as rain with us, and everything is everything.
Besides, Jersey really isn't that cool.

3 comments:

Ro said...

When I was in my 20's, I had the flu and in the middle of the night I went to the 24 hour pharmacy in San Pedro for some Nyquil. On the way home, I pulled over in a parking lot to puke. A "concerned citizen" thought I was drunk so they followed me home and called the Lomita sherriff's department. The cops came banging on my door at 3am, and searched my house. The whole time I was sick as fuck and trying to sleep.

FUCK YOU, concerned citizen!!!

Bryan said...

Did you offer to bang the cops, so they would make excuses about another call and leave quickly?

Joe said...

PWN3D!!!