Saturday, September 20, 2008

So I Was Going Through My "Saved By The Bell" Trading Cards...


And I came across......what?.......oh, like you don't have a full set too!
I'm getting sick of your attitude!

As I was saying....I came across Tiffani Amber Thiessan.
Remember her as Kelly?
No?
Here, let me refresh your drink a bit.....


The very definition of hotness, no?
Remember how you used to wish you were Zach and could get a crack at her...well, and because he had that big blocky cell phone at a time when NO High School kid ever had a cell phone.
Hey, remember when Ruth Buzzi played Screech's Mom?
Doesn't Sarah Jessica Parker look just like Ruth Buzzi?...which in turn makes it funny that SJP is supposed to be some hot chick on that Sex In The City tripe, because when exactly was the time that fellas just HAD to get a piece of Ruth Buzzi?

Eh...anyway....

I'll bet ole' Tiff is still hot today, right? I'll bet she still....




BAM!

OH SHIT!!! Look how I just did that to you!
I could almost hear your youthful fantasies shatter to the floor like glass from all the way across the internet.

Huh?

You're right...that was wrong of me.
Here, let me help you pick up the broken pieces...I see a couple over there in the....





BAM!

Oh God..DAAAMMMMNNNN, I just did it AGAIN!
It's like I don't even consider your feelings.

I don't know how accurate my source is, but I was told that her look of excitement in the second picture is because someone just told her that Krispy Kreme unveiled a new "Fried Triple Chocolate Butter Dipped Fatback Glazed" doughnut that's on the "by one, get one" plan for Platinum V.I.P.s.

Hey, does anyone have the ultra rare "Rod Belding" card?
He was always the cooler Belding, you know.

3 comments:

Ro said...

puh-lease... as if you wouldn't hit that.

Joe said...

Of course I would.
My attacks against her are a result of the underlying knowledge that even if she ballooned up to 350lbs, she still wouldn't have me.
But we're supposed to ignore that and just play along like I'm yet ANOTHER smarmy blog writer on the net that points out the flaws of everyone else.
Duh, Ro....duh.

Anonymous said...

thats right, you would! You love those rolls on her.....I've always heard you say fat girls need lovin too.