The Creepiest Song of All Time

I like to try to play guitar. I regularly strap on my guitar, put my iPod on shuffle and play along whatever song comes up. Now Joe has written before about the dangers of shuffling your iPod; I know and understand this fact all too well. But I like to stay well rounded musically. I keep a lot of crap on my iPod that may very well not be a song that I especially like; I more or less keep it around for variety and fun.

So I'm jamming along rocking out, and I come to Dr. Hook's Sharing the Night. It's light enough, easy chords, I remember most of the words from my childhood. But as I'm listening and playing along...oh yeah, all right...I start to really get skeeved out by this rape song. In my mental image, it starts out with this 70's cat, sitting there at a bar -- with his John Oats mustache and medallion, collared shirt opened showing his hairy chest. He's chatting up this broad with Farrah Fawcett hair and he says: Are you lonely? Yeah me too. Let's share the night -- code words for I have candy, let's fuck. Oh yeah, alright.

Now I have no problem with a one night stand, but that's not even what this song is suggesting. If I come on too strong, I hope that you will understand, cause I'd like to know if your lonely as I am. That's got to be the most desperate line I've ever heard. Now a fella with this little game has got to be a rapist, otherwise he'd never get laid. Continuing on: Oh yeah, all right...Cause I like feeling like I do, and I see in your eyes you're liking it too.. Do I need to say anything more? The next line in the story goes:

Uhm, Your Honor, I swear she liked it. I saw it in her eyes. Well no, she couldn't speak with the gag in her mouth, but I know she liked it too. Oh yeah, alright.

I feel like I need a shower after listening to this song. I'm going back to Brandy, because all the sailors say she's a fine girl. Man, the 70's were creepy.