New Moon (2009)

I hate "Twilight".
I think Stephanie Meyer is THEE most piss poor writer to ever build a dynasty.

There, that's a good starting point.
And to further illustrate the way I feel, here's my review of "Twilight" from last year:
Twilight Review

Tonight, I was brought to see the second installment of the four part story, "New Moon".
And I didn't entirely dislike it.
Now, I'm not a fan by any stretch of the imagination now, and I do have several gripes with the story, but it was passable from a Twi-Tard hater's perspective.

For starters, "New Moon" showed me EXACTLY what it is that I hate about this story.
Edward Cullen.

Seriously, that character is total shit.
I stated in the "Twilight" review, that I believed him to be a 90210, "Dylan McKay" type of character, and I think I still stand by that. His whispery, angst driven bullshit really ruins the story for me. I mean, I can watch a chick flick....I can buy into an overly sensitive character going after the woman he loves...but this guy is just terrible.

Thankfully, his screen time in this latest edition is minimal.
Instead, this story focuses on Jacob Black's involvement with the Bella Swan character.
Once again, Bella is batting a thousand with the men, because Jacob is a Werewolf.
I hear in the next film, Bella blows Frankenstein's monster behind a Dairy Queen, so that should be pretty interesting.

Now, what I noticed about this story, was that without Edward around, things seemed more alive. And while one COULD suggest that it was cinematic symbolism based upon Edward's character being living dead, I would say that you would be giving this particular film FAR too much credit.
The entire story of Jacob's interaction with Bella, and his coming of age as a Werewolf, wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it was solid enough. It moved well, and with Bella and Jacob, you could feel a decent chemistry. Not to mention, the scenes where Jacob and his wolf pack are hunting the vampire Victoria, added more action alone, than the entire "Twilight" story ever did. And THAT is one of my biggest gripes with this story....if you're gonna make it about vampires and werewolves, give me a little more than some teen angst and a prom!

Far too soon for my liking, however, Edward was back in the film.
And what was he doing?
Plotting to kill himself.

It kinda went like this:

"Bellyache....bellyache....without Bella I don't want to live....bellyache....whine....tormented face....sad face...bellyache....blow a guy in the bushes....bellyache."

Much like a real vampire, he sucks the life blood out of every scene he's in.
So for me, it's clear that he is the Suckberg that sinks the Titanic. (See how I made up a shitty word right there, to tie the romance movie thing together?)

SO, I talked insane amounts of shit on this movie before I ever saw it, but in the end, it wasn't that bad. It was certainly better than "Twilight", but that's not saying much at all.
It's kinda like saying Lethal Weapon 4 was better than 3....neither was good, but there is an order to things.

So, while I wouldn't tell anyone to see this, I will say this...
If you hate this story and you are dreading the idea of having to see this with someone, don't worry so much. The Werewolf stuff is solid....although I wasn't really cool with them walking around shirtless all the time....and well, Edward is still a douche, but you already knew that, right?
Vampires are supposed to suck....and he does....just not the right way.