Professional Video Game Reviewers Are Full Of It

 

   

   Let's talk about perfect 10/10 video games. There have been a few, or so the "reviewers" say. But what is it in a game that earns it a perfect score? Graphics? Gameplay? Storyline? I guess it's all of those factors combined. I'm an avid gamer. Maybe I play too many. I don't know. Games are where I have fun. I'm married with children so I don't really go out to bars and clubs, however with the exception of the latter, I like to when I get the chance. So online gaming is where I spend most of my time socializing. I'm a loser, I know. Fuck your mother. Anyway, with the time I spend playing video games I think I have the necessary credentials to review them. Sure you can go to tons of sites across the web and see what "professional" reviewers have to say, but to me, their word means shit. I've felt that way ever since I read a review for one of the Tom Clancey's Ghost Recon games. I think it was the second one on the xbox, but that doesn't matter. The review started off with the reviewer saying that they didn't play "these types of games" in the first place. Which to me means they should'nt have been reviewing it at all. That would be like me trying to manage a baseball team. Sure I watch baseball and go to some of the games, but fuck if I know how to run one. I'm going to go into 2 games here, one of which I haven't played yet, but that's because it's not available in the states. Here goes.

    Grand Theft Auto IV (PS3) will be first since I have played this one. It got perfect scores all across the board and I have no fucking idea why. The graphics suck. Compared to most console  games today, inclucing those on the Wii, this game looks like absolute shit. But in it's defense, the series' draw was never based on graphics. It was always game play. I'll give credit where credit is due though. The basic style of the game is innovative. I think, and I may be wrong, but this was the first game series that the main objective is to live a criminal lifestyle. You run missions for people you meet that usually consist of "go kill this person", or "make that guy pay" and you steal cars and put every citizen of the city it takes place in, in harm's way during your escapades. OK, no other game has done that before this one. If you get bored completing missions you can steal any car you want, kill anybody you see or, for an added twist, drive around the city obeying all traffic laws. In this "episode" of the series there are mini games. These consist of bowling, billiards, racing, you can go to see a comedy show with actual comedians. Well, only 2 comedians; Kat Williams and Ricky Gervaise. You can even go watch a caberet show. These mini games aren't only something to do to take the monotany out of your killing sprees and general meyhem, you HAVE to play them in order to build your relationships with people you meet along the game. This completely takes away from the thought that they are there for you to have something different to do. 

   They added a new cover system to your gunfights in this edition. Personally, I don't really care. They say it makes it more like a shooter. No it doesn't. While it does make it easier to not be killed when trying to mow down a gamg of machine gun wielding thugs or the arsenal of coppers that are trying to take you out, sometimes it can be more of a nuisance. The controls are still very choppy and alot of the time, you can't aim when in cover to get a clean shot. So all in all, the new feature designed to make the game better, didn't really work out.

    The driving has been updated, but I don't know how. I still go careening into walls and people and cars when trying to take a turn at full speed. And if you hit the brakes to try to drift around turns, most of the time, you'll either spin around or come to a complete stop. Not too helpfull when trying to evade the law with a 5 or 6 star wanted level.

    This version has online modes though. So you and a couple of your buddies can go cause havoc on other players around the world. I can't eally comment on how this works, because I haven't been able to actually join an online match. So fuck it.

    I think people got caught up in the fact that a new GTA was coming out. I don't really see a reason for the perfect score in the game. The story is pretty much the same, but with a new cast of characters: This guy did me wrong so here's some money to go fuck him up. Not a perfect 10 in my book. Maybe the shit hole economy played a part in the perfect score. Maybe the gaming industry, which hasn't really felt the effects of the waining economy, thought they needed to bullshit it's loyal consumers into spending more of their money for another game everybody's played a thousand times before.

 My scores:

 Graphics: 6/10

 Gameplay: 7/10

 Story: 7/10

Overall: 7/10

   

   The next game is Metal Gear solid 4 (PS3). I won't be so long on this one because I haven't played it. But, some of the European gaming sites have given this a 9.9 out of 10. Again, I'm not sure why. It's the 4th in the series, so it's not like it's a new game. I like the MGS series of games though and probably will pick this up sometime and will be able to give a better review. However, I doubt I'll agree with the "professional" reviews. Already there are reports of the cutscenes being too long and like GTA 4, the time it takes to install the game is taking forever. Which to me is bullshit. I'm fairly new to the PS3 and if all the games take 8 months to initially load before you can get a minute of gaming time, I'll stick with my Xbox 360.

  Some games I'm looking forward to are Battlefield Bad Company (June 23) and NCAA Football 09 (July 15).