I Hate Ghost Shows.....The Ghost Antagonizer Is Born!

Are you one of the people that watch those bullshit ghost shows, and think it's legit?
I'll bet you think Jerry Springer isn't a work either, right?

Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters International, Paranormal Cops, Paranormal Hookers, Paranormal Ghost Hunting Ghosts In International States of Alcoholism.....whatever.
It's all shit for dunderheaded jackasses.

Ok, let's break this down....
Every location starts off with people detailing what encounters they've had, and those usually include an actual sighting of a "dark male figure" or "a woman in a (insert color) dress", OR they hear a child laughing or whatever else sounds creepy to the viewer.
Sometimes, we are even treated to tales of physical assault, accompanied by pictures of red marks on the storyteller's back, etc...etc.

Then, in comes the ghost hunting crew of what ever particular show you're watching.
They set up cameras everywhere....they have their little "EMF" readers.....their nightvision bullshit...the whole nine yards, right?
But what do they ever "capture"?
Some thuds?
Creaks?

Then we're treated to the audio of a "disembodied voice" being "enhanced and magnified", and during playback of said audio, we are TOLD what the "voice" said. These moments are my favorite, because something that audibly sounds like "Grafenuble garp thud" will be recanted by the "ghost hunter" as "It said that my mother is so black, shes sweats coffee!...How did it know my mother was black??? It's clearly a demon from the other side!"
And then YOU the viewer, sit there saying "Oh my Lord, how DID it know his mother was black?", as you funnel down cheeseballs into your gullet, because your diet REALLY leaves something to be desired.

Dummy.

The other thing I find amazing about these shows, is the moments where they claim to see a figure moving in the dark. Yet somehow, with ALL the cameras they have set up, not ONE of these teams has been able to document ANYTHING tangible.
Why?
BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING THERE!
The camera's conveniently aren't recording where the "figure" is seen. Everywhere else they are, just not where they needed to be.
It's all BULL....SHIT.

So I have decided, that from this day forward, I am The Ghost Antagonizer!
I will go ANYWHERE these tools have gone, and dare the ghosts to kill me!

If the place is haunted by Hitler....I'll throw a Jewish Singles Dance Party!

Was the ghost a racist?
Welcome to the first "White Chicks And Black Dicks" Pornographic Film Festival!
Well, it probably won't be the first, because some of you are creeps....but it will be the first ever done to specifically antagonize a racist ghost.

Point is, if a ghost is there....I WILL make it come out!!
Besides, I am WAY cooler than that toolshed Zak Bagans on Ghost Adventures!
Where's my contract, shitty cable channels?