The Mall Troll, Giant Rabbits And The Rest Of My Day.

I decided that I would head out today with my kids, and go to the MacDade Mall.
I had heard that the sets from The Lovely Bones were still up inside the mall, and I was gonna try to grab some pictures.
However, when we arrived there, we found that the only entrance to the mall was through the anchor store, Kmart.
BUT, as we approached the actual mall, we noticed that all the lights were out, and that as far as we could tell, there was nothing left from the filming of the movie.
All of a sudden, a man began yelling from out of the darkness....
"MALL'S CLOSED!!!! BEEN CLOSED FOR FIVE SEASONS NOW!!!! DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN!!!!"

The first thing that came to mind is, WHY is this dude just hanging out in a dark abandoned mall all by himself?
Secondly, who the fuck keeps time by seasons?!?!?!?
I'll bet he says shit like "I haven't seen you in a fortnight!"

The Mall Troll was a douche.

SO, I then took my kids through Media, PA, where we stopped in "I ♥ Pets".
Here are a couple of the pets that were available for your personal ♥ing today:

This first one is called a Papillion I believe....it looked like Gizmo from Gremlins to me.


Next was two of what are known as "Flemish Giant Rabbits".
The things were HUGE, and the sign said that they can get "double or triple the size".
WTF?
Who wants a creepy as giant rabbit rolling around your house at night.
I don't need no Donnie Darko level shit going down.
I do NOT ♥ this pet.



With our desire to still see a once populated Mall that was now abandoned, we decided to check out The Tri State Mall back in Wilmington.
This place always bums me out, because I do have *some* fond memories of the place.

Let's start with the ruins of The Merry House...

This was a bar that was once located inside the Tri State Mall.
Now, of course back in the early 80's, I had no use for the actual bar aspect of the place, but I DID have use for the Donkey Kong machine that sat just on the other side of those doors. Further back in a tiny room to the right, were even more video games, in what was some sort of dark and creepy arcade.
Like almost everything else in the Tri State Mall, it's empty now.

NEXT, is the ruins of the former "Eric 4 Tri State"....



This was the site of MANY "Sunday Night At The Movies" outings.
In the early 90's, after our weekends of drinking ourselves into oblivion, we would officially end the weekend by going to a movie on Sunday Nights.
The last film I can recall seeing there was "Misery"....and speaking OF misery, I remember a time when as the previews were rolling, a groups of brothers were talking at the screen as often happens....oh and don't give me any stereotyping bullshit....even brothers know they do that shit!
SO, there was a white couple sitting two rows behind them.
All of a sudden, the white girl says "Will you shut the fuck up!".
Yup.
At that moment, the talking stopped, and the most gigantic brother I have ever seen, stood up...turned around....and in some insane way that almost made it appear he hunched over BOTH rows to point directly in her face, he yelled "BITCH, I'LL KILL YOU!!!"
There was then a quiet hush, you know....one of the moments where it seems like time is standing still?
He then looked at her boyfriend and said...."We'll see YOU after the movie, homie!".

The couple are probably STILL wondering how the movie ended, because they ducked out while the brothers were busy following the story, and it's probably not something they wanted to rent, because it would cause flashbacks.

NEVER date a loud mouthed hooker, children!

On my journey back to my place, I encountered Dickbag McAssmotron.....


You would THINK that he moved when he heard the car behind him, right?
You would be wrong.

I wish the Tri State Eric 4 was still open, and his date told a group of brothers to "shut the fuck up!".....and the exits were locked.