Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hey Criminals...Learn How to Implicate Others for your Crimes!

A black man cleverly plants touch DNA on an unsuspecting hermaphrodite.

Today in the news, murdered child JonBenet Ramsey’s family was cleared for her decade-old murder due to one of the latest DNA techniques, "Touch DNA".

I got curious, wondering what is "Touch DNA"? So I googled, and found an interesting article that explains, "Touch DNA, also referred to as low copy number DNA (LCN) or low-level DNA2, results when an individual comes into contact with or touches an object, leaving small amounts of biological material on the object’s surface." I read on, and saw that "biological material" equals dead skin cells. So every time I scratch my face or arm, or touch a doorknob or flush a toilet, I’m leaving my "Touch DNA" behind for all to enjoy. Holy shit.

Since appears to be easy to gather someone’s "touch DNA", I started thinking about what this could mean for the future of humankind. Could the government collect my DNA at will and put my profile in a database without my knowledge or consent? Could someone steal my exfoliating face cloth from my shower and shake it over a crime scene to implicate me? Could I go to jail based on this evidence? I hope not.

But on the other hand, this might be good news for criminals. If convicted on this evidence, could a robber cry "frame-up"? Or better yet, say that HYPOTHETICALLY, I wanted to kill a certain someone for snoring too loud or leaving the toilet seat up. I think it would be easy to steal someone’s dirty socks, wear them inside out, and strangle a person in their sleep. Surely the skin cells of the person who wore the socks would be all over the crime scene. Then throw the socks in a river, and when the cops come, act surprised. IN THEORY.

That’s it for now...I have to run because I have someone to choke...err... I mean something to do. Bye for now!

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